The Really Big Mean Dog School of Law: Definitions of Terms Being Thrown About the Internet. Just For Everyone’s Edification.

October 11, 2014

Some People are like Christmas Everyday – Arizona

Good evening class, welcome back.  Please take your seats as we have a lot to cover this evening.  As you can see, I have redecorated the classroom.  I hope you all like it.  Chaz continues to work on the class seal.  It will be mounted as soon as he is done.  Feel free to wander around after class and get used to the new digs.

Now, it has come to my attention as your Law Professor and Dean of Fuckery that certain legal terms are being tossed willy nilly around the internet.  Your Professor is not amused.  I am not amused when people who have no clue throw hallowed legal terms around just to see if they can scare someone.  We will also be covering terms which will no doubt be brought up during the PENALTY PHASE RETRIAL OF THE CONVICTED MURDERESS

Before we begin, everyone stand for the singing of the class anthem.  Do not forget to face Florida and give the salute that I taught you.  Thank you.

Lets start with an easy one and just to make it fun, lets see how many apply to Stabby and or other people we know and hate:

Slander: oral defamation, in which someone tells one or more persons an untruth about another which untruth will harm the reputation of the person defamed. Slander is a civil wrong (tort) and can be the basis for a lawsuit. Damages (payoff for worth) for slander may be limited to actual (special) damages unless there is malicious intent, since such damages are usually difficult to specify and harder to prove. Some statements such as an untrue accusation of having committed a crime, having a loathsome disease, or being unable to perform one’s occupation are treated as slander per se since the harm and malice are obvious, and therefore usually result in general and even punitive damage recovery by the person harmed. Words spoken over the air on television or radio are treated as libel (written defamation) and not slander on the theory that broadcasting reaches a large audience as much if not more than printed publications. (See: defamation, fair comment) Check and Check.

Libel: to publish in print (including pictures), writing or broadcast through radio, television or film, an untruth about another which will do harm to that person or his/her reputation, by tending to bring the target into ridicule, hatred, scorn or contempt of others. Libel is the written or broadcast form of defamation, distinguished from slander which is oral defamation. It is a tort (civil wrong) making the person or entity (like a newspaper, magazine or political organization) Now, here is the important part so pay attention:  open to a lawsuit for damages by the person who can prove the statement about him/her was a lie. Publication need only be to one person, but it must be a statement which claims to be fact, and is not clearly identified as an opinion. Most states provide for a party defamed by a periodical to demand a published retraction. If the correction is made, then there is no right to file a lawsuit. Public records are exempt from claims of libel. Minor errors in reporting are not libel. Check and Check.

Stalking: Criminal activity consisting of the repeated following and harassing of another person. Stalking is a distinctive form of criminal activity composed of a series of actions that taken individually might constitute legal behavior. For example, sending flowers, writing love notes, and waiting for someone outside her place of work are actions that, on their own, are not criminal. When these actions are coupled with an intent to instill fear or injury, however, they may constitute a pattern of behavior that is illegal. Though anti-stalking laws are gender neutral, most stalkers are men and most victims are women unless your name is Stabby or some other female type person. Oh look, check and check again.

Cyberstalking: the use of the Internet or other electronic means to stalk or harass an individual, a group of individuals, or an organization. It may include the making of false accusations or statements of fact (as in defamation), monitoring, making threats, identity theft, damage to data or equipment, the solicitation of minors for sex, or gathering information that may be used to harass. The definition of “harassment” must meet the criterion that a reasonable person, in possession of the same information, would regard it as sufficient to cause another reasonable person distress.[1] Cyberstalking is different from spatial or offline stalking in that it occurs through the use of electronic communications technology such as the internet. However, it sometimes leads to it, or is accompanied by it.[2] Both are criminal offenses.[3] Cyberstalking shares important characteristics with offline stalking; many stalkers – online or off – are motivated by a desire to control their victims.[4] So like hacking a persons emails or sending them eleventybillion emails or stuff like that. Hey we are going for a record. Check and check.

Harrassment: covers a wide range of behaviors of an offensive nature. It is commonly understood as behavior intended to disturb or upset, and it is characteristically repetitive. In the legal sense, it is intentional behavior which is found threatening or disturbing. Once again we have two winners.

allege: a way to avoid a libel claim.

Objection: a motion during a trial to disallow a witness’s testimony or other evidence. You know like Objection, testimony has no basis in reality.

Hater: Anyone who does not believe Stabby’s version of events, whichever ones she puts forth.

Orifice: An opening, especially to a cavity or passage of the body; Learn this one, it’s going to come up A LOT during the re-trial.

KY: a brand of personal lubricant also see baby oil, Crisco, whatever the fuck is handy at that moment.

Mouth Hug: Apparently it is how Stabby offers to blow someone.

Jizz: Jizz is just Jizz.

There will be a short quiz next class on these terms. I expect all of you to be able to use each one in a sentence.

Class dismissed.

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Could That Sound I Hear be a………Backfire?

September 22, 2014

Wishing I could clone Sheriff Joe – Arizona

Hai Kids. Well, by now you have already heard the stunning (spoiler: No one is stunned)news that Stabby’s esteemed Judge has decided that now is the time to black out the courtroom. Um, you all have to become Lawyers and practice law and shit before you become Judges in Arizona right? I shook my head so damn hard when I read the wording of that decision I think a gave myself a concussion. Just, WOW. Huge error in my opinion. For whatever it’s worth. Before we get into the meat of Sheriff Joe’s latest, I wanted to let you all know that I have put a donation button up on the bottom of my blog. Why? Because writing really is my job. It is strictly voluntary. VOLUNTARY. You don’t haveta if you don’t wanna.

Why can you spell Sheriff with two R’s or one R and spellcheck does not have a fuck to give? I can’t even use Canadian spelling or my computer has an aneurism. What is that about?

Sheriff Joe is suddenly hitting all the high notes for me peeps. His beautifully written fuck off and die letter to that film maker was so beautiful I wanted to weep. Sherriff Joe upped the ante today when he rolled off a letter regarding Stabby and the press tour she still seems intent on having.

Since Sheriff Joe stepped out of the closet, he has been intent on burning that bitch down. No longer a quiet Stabby hater, Sherriff Joe now seems intent on letting us see via written word every ounce of contempt he holds for Stabby. I wonder if he actually almost bit his tongue off trying to bite back his feelings of utter contempt for Stabbykins, and he said fuck it, I’m not injuring myself for some murdering slut? Or something.

Anyway, today Sheriff Joe released another doozy of a letter letting the press, the citizens of Arizona, me, and earth in general know just how hard he thinks Stabby should suck it.

Sherriff Joe said, to paraphrase:………From the Sheriff Joe Homey Don’t Play That House of Indefinite Incarceration……….

Because all of you assholes can make money off a murdering twat no matter what bullshit comes out of her mouth and I know there will be fiftyfivebillion requests, I have decided to shut all you bitches down before you even get started.

In case any of you forgot, the bitch has already been convicted of first degree murder.

She is a complete narcissist who is very good at manipulating the simple minded. She is actually getting these idiots to sell things for her. She even tried to get a documentary filmed about her but I shut that shit down.

I understand that television stations need to make some cheddar, but not on my watch. Bitch had lied long enough and I am sick and tired of listening to her bullshit. Therefore, if you haven’t already figured it out, any requests for interviews with this sadistic bitch will be DENIED.

Actual Press release below.

Arias no media

Oh Sheriff Joe. Your immense annoyance makes me weep with joy. I think I love you Sheriff Joe. I think we all do.

Oh, and while we don’t get cameras, the lovely and talented Jen from Trial Diaries is able to tweet so we can at least sort of know what’s going on.

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I Promise to Tell the Truth, Part of the Truth, or None of the Truth……Whatever is Working For Me at The Time……Maybe.

September 17, 2014

The “Sherriff Joe Homey Don’t Play That House of Indefinite Incarceration” may have room for one more soon – Arizona

Hai Kids. It’s me, number 1 (Okay number 2 if you count Juan) Stabby hater extraordinaire Kelly. I am here with updates. We have actual written down in the court minutes trial dates. Jury Selection will start September 29th and the PENALTY PHASE RETRIAL is set to run through December 12, 2014 with the court dark on Fridays. I figure Judge Stephens finally said fuck it, every weekend is a long weekend till this bitch is off my docket forever. She has fully stocked the side-bar and has personally tested all the bottles to make sure they do indeed contain liquor.

Golden Corral has hired extra line cooks in preparation for the 200lbs Alfred E. Nurmi is going to put back on during this shit show.

All weed dealers in the immediate area have checked their phone lines and made sure they are still on Jenny From the Cell Blocks speed dial. Pageant moms across Arizona have submitted original designs for gowns for the glamour portion of the trial.

Esteban Flores has stocked up on good boy treats and checked the catch pole to make sure the loop closes properly. His order of squeaky Nurmi dog toys is expected next week.

The court vet has double checked his tranquilizer supply and fired off a couple of test rounds to make sure the gun is firing properly. Wouldn’t want a miss-fire in the courtroom when Juan is really foaming at the mouth.

Juan has finally calmed down from his laughing fit and was seen mauling an attack dummy in preparation for the re-trial.

Stabby has been endlessly doodling in hopes of an impromptu art show of her totally ripped off from other artists designs. Tracing is a mitigating factor you know.

ChaCha Delarosa Was seen trying on outfits to wear to the re-trial. She was going for a more professional look this time. I think it worked.
ChaCha DeLaRosa

Alyce in Blunderland has not come out of hiding since the first trial.

Stabby’s Pencil was seen getting a new point. Looking sharp Pencil!!

All the Chairs of the Court are safe in the Ikea protection program. The will be brought to court by moving van convoy flanked by swat teams early on the morning of the 29th.

The ninjas and the screwdriver Skateboard gang were unavailable for comment.

Lisa Schilling and Jason Weber were last seen in Las Vegas. Their whereabouts now is unknown.


Really Big Mean Dog Publishing Presents: The Big Book of Words

September 16, 2014

for everyone’s edification, Stabby doesn’t know what edify means – Arizona

Oh hai everybody. I have decided to branch out into publishing to bring you the Big Book of Words. In an effort to help make everyone more Einstein-y than they are now, I have re-watched all the trial footage. ALL. OF. IT….So..you’re welcome. Don’t worry though, I already had the flu so the vomiting didn’t bother me much. I then put together a list of all the big words Stabby used during the trial. Well, not all of them, just the ones that were used for no other reason than to use a big word, words that were used incorrectly and words that most normal people unless they were writing a thesaurus would never use in a sentence. I have also included a few words that Juan or Nurmi threw out there (not the ones Nurmi made up though) that Stabby either incorporated into a sentence later or were just big words that irritated me. I have decided that because nothing makes sense about this trial I am going to post them in order of appearance or when I thought of them instead of in alphabetical order because why not. On a totally unrelated note, I decided I better grab reallybigmeandog.com before one of the Wackadoo’s from Camp Stabby decided to fuck with it.
YAY!!

Most of the words contained in the Big Book of Words will be multi-syllabic. Stabby must have cruised right over single syllable words because only less Einstein-y then her people use them. Stabby also may know a lot of big words, but she does not understand the definition of quite a few of them.

Imply/Infer – Imply – indicate the truth by suggestion rather than by explicit reference. Ex. Stabby implied that she was more Einstein-y than her lawyers. Infer -conclude from evidence rather than from explicit statements. Ex. When I write, I am inferring that Stabby is stupid and uses big words to cover it up.

Edify – To teach someone in a way that improves character. Also to enlighten or inform. Stabby obviously has no idea what this word means since during Jurors questions she stated ” I wanted to Edify Travis only in good ways at that point, I didn’t want to say anything bad.” Pretty hard to enlighten, inform or teach somebody that’s dead…..just sayin’

De-edify – NOT A WORD unless you are all Einstein-y and can just invent words to go with the words you don’t know the meaning of to begin with.

Debase – to lower the value or reputation of someone/thing or to make less respectable. Apparently Stabby is all too familiar with the definition of debase.

Hotti Biscotti – Anybody Stabby is considering fucking at some point in time.

Monogamous – The state or practice of having only one sexual partner at a time. Unless you are Stabby….and you have to meet Ryan Burns.

Pedestrian – Adjective. Lacking inspiration or enlightenment. Dull. Stabby’s definition…insignificant.

Pejorative – A word or phrase that is intended to belittle. Expressing criticism. First used in court by Juan who immediately retracted it and instead used belittle. glommed onto and used by Stabby only 12:36 minutes later. Used incorrectly.

Contemporaneously – consisting or happening at the same time. Stabby murdered Travis and took pictures contemporaneously.

Ameliorate – to make something bad or unsatisfactory better. Stabby getting the death penalty would ameliorate the situation.

Discombobulated – disconcert or confuse. Juan has Stabby completely discombobulated.

Paaaar-tic-u-lar – exactly like particular, but much more important the way Stabby says it. (for Stabby’s Pencil)

Thank you for reading the first edition of the Big Book of Words. Really Big Mean Dog publishing sincerely hopes you feel much more Einstein-y than you did before you started.

If I have missed anything put it in the comments and I will publish it in volume two of the Big Book of Words.


Here We Go Again…….Some More……Still!!

September 11, 2014

now moving to the fourth circle of hell – Arizona

Oh Hai Kids. I’m just blogging up the stratosphere today aren’t I. Well, it can’t be helped. Things are happening. Important things. Spoiler – not really it just makes me feel needed.

Stabby has been a crazy busy psychopath Today. Well, I guess crazy and psychopath everyday but the rest just today. Yeah. Don’t even ask, I’ve been awake for three days and I’m not fully convinced this isn’t just some weird dream.

I digress. Stabby has legally relinquished the Pro-se right she always intended to relinquish as soon as she got this whole J4STabby thing sorted out thanks to Cha Cha Delarosa.
Goddamn people trying to steal her murder money. Lets see who actually has a dog in this fight.

Click on the images to enlarge

Stabby's Arch Nemisis #2 Meet Jason. Stabby’s number one arch nemesis right at this particular moment. He is basically a piece of human shit in clothes. He is also Stabby art thrower under the busser and thief that is trying to steal stabby’s money. He seems to have peaced out so there may or may not be a gang of screwdriver wielding skateboarding ninjas looking for him. I can’t confirm but I don’t doubt anything at this point.

Stabby's best friend ChaCha Delarosa Stabby’s Mitigation specialist/dance instructor and Stabby’s new best friend. Totally malleable. The Latina version of Alyce in Blunderland. Terrible chess player. Hater of ice cream parties and Las Vegas.

Lisa's icecream party And Finally Lisa Schilling Ice Cream Party and Las Vegas Lover. Butthurt and Dissalussioned Ex(Maybe) Stabby Supporter. Possibly my new best friend. We will see.

So, in a nut shell. A three way call that is not allowed was placed from Sherriff Joes Homey Don’t Play That prison. He got pissed, Stabby decided she isn’t Jack McCoy (If you don’t know who that is shame on you and google it) Fucktard Jason seems to have peaced out, and ChaCha and Lisa are debating about the Merits of an Icecream Party in Vegas. Did I mention we are all invited? Should be fun.

Nurmi is in for the ice cream party as long as it’s all you can eat. He said to tell you all that Death by Ice Cream sounds perfectly acceptable to him and it will save some money that he was going to spend eating himself to death at Golden Corral.

Nurmi’s Chair has gone into the Ikea Protection Program and all attempts at contact thus far have been in vain. Stabby’s Pencil is very worried. If anyone see’s him rolling around tell him Stabby’s pencil and RBMD said hey.

Stabby’s Bangs have made contact and tell me they are looking forward to the re-trial.

Stabby’s Diary is apparently pumping lead in preparation for the retrial. So buff Diary!! Good Job.

Stabby’s Pencil is just concerned about Nurmi’s Chair and doesn’t want to talk about it.

Stabby’s Multiple personalities have so far not returned our calls for comment.

Juan Martinez was still laughing last time we asked for comment.

Stabby is going for the record of most motions in order to delay a trial in the history of ever. She was in court and ask for a brief Ex-Parte which of course means Stabby wants another delay. Maybe you really can just delay a trial until you die of natural causes. Speedy trial be damned.

And please God let that be my last Stabby update of the day. I have to be in Pretoria for Whatever O’clock.


Sherriff Joe Vs The Volcano – Whatever, it fit, don’t judge me.

September 11, 2014

Insanity really is relative – Arizona
See What I did there? So, it is my day three of my never sleep again tour. I have stabby, I have Pusstorias, I have a bunch of other shit that may turn into shit that I am working on and now I’ve had the anti upped by one Film Maker and all the shenanigans at the JusticeforStabby website. I am drowning in crazy.

Before we get into the meat and potatoes of this blog, I have to give a HUGE shout out to The Juan Martinez Prosecutor Support Page, because they have been ferretting out stuff for me all damn night. If you are into facebook go check them out, it’s a good site for info on what Stabby and the Funky Bunch are up to. https://www.facebook.com/JuanMartinezProsecutorSupportPage

I always thought Sherriff Joe was a Misogynistic little prick with a mean spirit and a huge dose of delusions of grandeur on the side. I still do. However his crazy is relevant to my interests and I find that all the mean things I said out loud about him are still totally true, except now it involves Stabby so I can’t hate it. Damn you Sherriff Joe. (Not really Sherriff Joe, if you ran for office right now and I lived there I’d vote for you.)

See, Sherriff Joe has been in the closet for a very long time and he was afraid to come out. That made me think he was a weak little man. I was sooooo wrong. He stepped out in spectacular fashion the other day. Sherriff Joe was a closet stabby hater. No more. Bitch stepped out of that closet, locked the door and burned it down. All under the brilliant guise of what is best for the prison and Arizona and the population of earth in general. He wrote this. It may be the most eloquent fuck off and die letter I have ever read. I laughed, I cried, I hoped for a second page. It was however the last paragraph that made me love Sherriff Joe.

To put it succinctly. I am in charge, she is not. She can pretty much suck it if she thinks the whole world doesn’t realize what she is doing. I am sick of all her whining demanding bullshit. She is lying. I am peacing the fuck out. You are DENIED. The whole letter appears below in case you haven’t seen it. There are no doubt going to be several other blogs today. Pusstorius for sure, and more on Stabby and the whole mess that is J4Stabby.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10635973_293197484207168_5941767300516486712_n.jpg?oh=8dc78723a18a934b944bbceef3f6ea01&oe=5485D9CB&__gda__=1419045491_a9278972d448288248898730d92c7152

K, now I’m peacing the fuck out. Gotta make coffee. No I don’t run on pure amusing venom. Don’t tell anyone.


Bwaahahahahahahahaha!!!

September 10, 2014

Oh Holy Fuck, the stupid whore’s resigning – Arizona

Oh hai everybody. It’s your favorite number one Stabby hater here with absolutely shocking news. spoiler (no one’s shocked)

In what could be yet her 9 millionth attempt at never having this trial happen, Stabby has once again reversed her decision to represent herself. Dun dun dun!! I gotta hand it to stabbykins. She is an inventive little fucker. Either that or she came out of the fog long enough to realize that Multiple personality disorder is a valid defense and she said fuck it let’s just go with that.

I know, I know you all have a bajillion questions and I may even have answers to some of them. Will it delay the trial? Odds are 9-1 against. Jenny from the Cell Block and Alfred E. have been kept on as advisory council so they have to be up to date on where she was going with this
.
Why the hell is Cha Cha Delarosa who is supposed to be her mitigation advisor tweeting all over the fucking place? 7-3 for Stabby made her do it.

Will Lisa now actually go and have an ice cream party in Las Vegas? 50/50. My theory is this always was meant to generate income for Lisa and the rest of the troglodytes mentioned in that phone call so I’m betting for. By the way, we are all invited. See. Lisa's icecream party

How does Juan feel about all this? Nobody knows, he can’t stop laughing long enough to answer.

How does Alfed E. Nurmi feel about this? He’s already been seen headed for an all you can eat buffet.

So we can now expect a fourth defense of “my other personalities made me do it” or she will have one of her council whacked to delay the trial again.

Stay tuned kids, it’s gonna be a loooooong night I think. And I’ve got Pistorius to deal with sometime tonight. *sigh* pass the gravol and the Stabby strength Tylenol.


The Magical Thinking of Stabby Einstein. An Auntie Really Big Mean Dog Bedtime Story

September 7, 2014

Well, hello chirruns, pull up a chair and let Auntie really big mean dog tell you all a story about the Magical thinking of Stabby Einstein.

Once upon a time in the second circle of hell there lived a violent sociopath named Stabby Einstein. Now Stabby Einstein was what we like to call a special kind of fucked, both literally and figuratively. Ohhh look at me using big words. Sorry, I digress. Stabby Einstein was the smartest, prettiest, most talented person in her own head. She decided one day that with her powers of superior intellect and a hell of a good show she could pretty much get whatever it was that she wanted. Envisioning what she wanted she first came up with a dude old enough to be her Grand Da but hey she wanted a house and with her powers of magical thinking and some really good anal, poof a house magically appeared. She hadn’t quite figured out how to disappear Grand Da once the house appeared but hey she thought, maybe magical thinking and a really good show only works in forward.

With that firmly in mind she went forward. From one magical low paying job to another. Sometimes two at a time. How magical. Then she discovered pre-paid legal and she decided that with her Einstein like mind and her magical powers she should be rich in no time. Well, one cannot be rich if they don’t look the part, so she took her magical mortgage payment money and once again using her powers turned it into a pair of fake tits. My gosh Stabby girl she thought to herself, this magical thinking shit really works. I can have whatever I want. I just have to believe I can have it and it will be mine.

Stabby Einstein was invited to the ball at pre-paid legal but her evil Grand Da/ fuck buddy didn’t want her to go. Stabby was sad. She decided to go anyway. There she met her prince charming Travis. She was transfixed. I must have him she said with a wicked cackle and started magically thinking it so that it would happen. She turned her magical wonder holes into a relationship with Travis. Holy shit it worked again, and this time she had the extra added bonus of figuring out how to get rid of stuff she no longer wanted. Once Grand Da Brewer discovered that the magical holes he thought were his were being plugged up by someone else, he peaced the fuck out and good thing too because he might be buried with Jimmy Hoffa otherwise.

Stabby now having figured out most of the kinks (ha, I said kinks and it stays) in her magical thinking proceeded to lure Travis with promises of even more perverse sexual acts than previously promised. Bondage? Sure. Anal? Oh yes please. Insertions of various forms of candy in various holes? Absolutely. Blindfolds? Check. Farm animals? Not off the table. Because she knew even with her superior intellect she was never going to have Travis unless she magically put a spell on him via her magical fake tits and all of her orifices she decided it was pretty much anything goes.

Stabby’s magical thinking worked for a while. She was getting boned by a really hot dude on a regular basis and of course she was willing him to marry her. The problem was the magic wasn’t working this time. Stabby Einstein thought and thought. Ah ha she said one night (she was prone to having entire conversations with herself so this was actually not a big deal) it’s the religion thing. He actually seriously believes in his Mormon god, therefor I must magically become a Mormon and than surely he will marry me. She was very excited to tell Travis that she wanted to become a Mormon and she silently thought that magical underclothes could not hurt along with all the rest of her magic. She became Mormon and was magically transformed. Surely now her prince would marry her. It was however not to be. Travis had seen through the facade of Stabby Einstein and he wanted nothing to do with her. He realized he had only ever been interested in her because she had absolutely no qualms about doing ANYTHING in the bedroom and she was dumb enough to not realize that sex does not equal love. Price Travis wanted someone he could love and respect and Stabby Einstein was not that woman. He broke it off and Stabby was stunned. And mad. Don’t forget mad, it’s important later.

Travis felt so much lighter when he broke it off with her, but his dick had a mind of it’s own and it missed being stuffed into something on a regular basis. Sadly one night Travis decided that friends with benefits might not be a bad idea. It was. He realized it quickly and told Stabby Einstein that she had to go.

Stabby moved back to Yreka but she never ever ever stopped thinking about Prince Travis and the fact that even with her strongest magic she could not make this one thing so. It slowly began to eat at any semblance of sanity that was at this point resideing in her earthly body. Stabby started thinking that she had been done wrong by prince Travis and she slowly put her magical thinking into action one last time and hit upon a foolproof plan to get even with Prince Travis.

First, she magically made her Grand Da’s (her real one, not the one she was boning earlier in the story) .25 caliber handgun disappear. Next, Stabby Einstein planned a trip to see some dude. She then went to a rental car company and rented a car. She had it magically changed from red to white. She went to the Grand da she’d previously been boning and traded him a DVD player for a couple of gas cans. She was pleased with the way things were working out so far. Still, she needed a magical disguise. She turned her platinum hair magically brown and was on her way. She filled up the gas cans in California and just to be sure she had enough she stopped at Walmart and bought another can. She was now ready to enact her magical plan of revenge.

She drove to Travis’ house. Her cell phone magically stopped working so nobody could tell where she was until it magically turned back on later. She went to see Prince Travis one last time. Poor Prince Travis never saw what was coming. She was offering up free cooch and he was just a mortal man after all. They banged a couple of times and then she tricked him into the shower with talk of a photo shoot. As Prince Travis was in the shower two Ninja’s magically appeared and holy shit one of them had made Grand da Einsteins gun re-appear. The other Ninja had made a knife materialize. Who the fuck even knew that ninjas could do David Copperfield shit. Not this story teller.

Anyway, Stabby Einstein wasn’t mad at poor Prince Travis anymore, she did everything she could to save him but then the Ninjas got her. With a mighty burst of magical strength she bull dogged the female ninja and crawled over to Travis. Travis was only concerned for his true love Stabby Einstein and he told her to get out and get help because he couldn’t move and he wanted her to live. She was trying to escape when the Ninjas caught her. They argued about whether to kill Stabby or not and they decided to do it. Stabby started thinking magical thoughts like she had never thought before and her magic worked one last time and the gun refused to fire, so instead of using the knife or some other weapon, the ninja’s decided to let her go.

Stabby drove and drove and drove until she was in the desert. She had no recollection of how she got there or what had happened. She looked down and saw some blood on her hands and immediately wondered who she had murdered. She had no memory of Prince Travis, or the Ninja’s or anything. So badly was her memory damaged she called Prince Travis to see if he wanted to come visit her later in the year. She decided she might as well just carry on to her next hook up so she did. They got all touchy feely, they went out for dinner and then Stabby Einstein went back home to Yreka where she returned the rental car which had some weird Kool-Aid stain in it, but she magically thought again and the dude at the rent a car place cleaned it for her. What a nice man, maybe she’d thank you fuck him later.

After that she was magically arrested. The police who had absolutely no idea how magical thinking worked, refused to believe her about the Ninja’s and she rotted in jail till the day her trial started.


The Phone call that Rocked the World (not really but I couldn’t think of another title)

September 6, 2014

Crazy just asked for itself to be redefined-Arizona

Well kiddies, looks like Stabby Einstein really is the gift that keeps on giving. After serious and intense contract negotiations with my in house Psychic she is back (thank you jesus) and we all get to find out what stabby really meant during that totally not orchestrated or released on purpose phone recording.

First, a few interesting points. Three way calls are the big no no in Jail. BIG no no. And not the big no no that resides south of Stabby’s belt line. Also, Satan Skyped me earlier and he now wants a per diem every time his input is needed for something related to this trial. I think he’s trying to save up so he can peace the fuck out if Stabby actually gets the death penalty because apparently even the prince of darkness doesn’t want anything to do with that kind of crazy. He said something about Judas Iscariot and PolPot running the show in his absence so no worries, hell will still be looked after. Oh and apparently Caligula will be performing once a week. There are still seats up front just in case you are interested.

Anyway, here is a copy of what the phone call said, and then we are going to have our lovely, talented and totally appreciated in house psychic tell us what the conversation was really about. Did I thank Jesus yet for my in house psychic. God forbid I have to do these things myself. Also, I had to go to the first circle of hell which is the “stabby Arias is innocent” Bwhahahahaha, sorry I can never type that without laughing, website to get this, so….you’re welcome.

Jodi Lisa
Lisa Yes – hey Jodi
Jodi I thought you were at work. Hey, um—
Lisa Well, I’m at lunch right now
Jodi Oh, okay. Who was it that told me? Oh, Maria [Del La Rosa], she said that, um, someone had told her that you had said online last night that I was supportive of the site and I don’t want to give people that impression because I can’t support the site right now as long as you guys are collecting money. Because it should be—
Lisa No we didn’t—
Jodi Huh?
Lisa No, we didn’t say you supported it. We said that you weren’t – not – you didn’t tell us to take it down which is what everyone else is saying.
Jodi Oh. Well, I don’t mind the site being there. But what I do mind is like that Jason is collecting money and that this corporation thing and that he’s promoting it as if something that I want – because I really don’t. I want the collection of money to stay within my family. And I think that if he really did support me he would just use all that traffic and energy and momentum that he’s building and just direct it toward the Appellate Fund, which is where it should be going to begin with. And remember when you and I were like first getting together with these ideas, it was more about how we can promote the Appellate Fund. But it seems like now it’s gone in a different direction. But, I just, that’s the only —
Lisa So if we collect money, are you saying that you don’t want it?
Jodi Yaah. No-no-no — I’m not saying that. I’m saying that I don’t want other people outside of my family to be accepting money on my behalf. Because it takes away from the fundraising that my family is trying to do for me,for one, and for two, with the Corporation, we don’t really know where that money is ultimately going to go, because it can go wherever the board members want it to go. And, as I told Jason, for example, if you guys vote to have an ice cream party with it, then you can. And he said that’s right. But with the Appellate Fund, it’s in the trust fund and irrevocable trust so you can’t have it go anywhere else. [unintelligible] trust it
Lisa Well, well — we’re not going to do that though.
Jodi Well, I know. But the point is that if you wanted to you could. If you want to reward your hard work with like a trip to Vegas you know, or something. If you [unintelligible] wanna or something—
Lisa No. I mean, but we’re not gonna do that though. And that’s why we have a board because, so, for that oversight.
Jodi Well, I know that’s true but I was just thinking if someone were on that for example and they everyone wants to vote to like going to cruise, for example. And then one persons like, “Hey that’s not right. This money is for Jodi’s appeals. And that’s not right.” And then people are mad and then people just have to vote that person off the board and then they can do what they want with money. That’s how it works. I’m not saying that’s going to happen but the problem that when people donate to a cause they believe in then, they wanna know where the moneys gonna go. But at this point they don’t know where it’s gonna go unless they donate to the trust. It can only go to there — to [unintelligle]
Lisa No but we have to [unintelligible] we, but we have to report our financials and where it’s going. So—
Jodi Yah.
Lisa Then I must be—
Jodi I haven’t [unintelligible] your bylaws but they’re, you know. I dunno — I just, I don’t feel, I don’t feel right with it. I don’t feel comfortable with it. I know you guys have worked really hard on it and I’m sorry it’s gotten this far, but—
Lisa So you don’t even want to look at the bylaws or — ?
Jodi Well, I don’t — really haven’t seen the bylaws. I, I honestly, I don’t want to be involved with it. Because I just feel it takes away from the efforts that my other friends and family have been trying to get the fund going to try to get me an attorney. Um, you know, I just—I feel like it’s taken away from that and that’s the problem. The other thing I’m uncomfortable with is that Jason has just done this without my consent. [unintelligible] “Hey you guys, Jodi’s not quite comfortable with this yet, but we’re trying to explain [unintelligible] to understand what’s going on and we’re doing [unintelligible]. [unintelligible] on there an lies. “Jodi supports us 100%.” And I haven’t. I’ve never said that. So the fact that he just lies about that makes me not trust him, you know? It’s like if you’re going to lie about that what else are you doing, you know? And then he registered the site in my name and I never said to register my name. And he puts Perryville’s physical address on there? That, that’s just, that
could get me into some, I dunno, that could potentially cause problems for me. So I know he took that off, but still, you know, it’s just, I think it’s just the fact that—I really wanted to support Jason. He has a lot of talent and everything, but I can’t. He [unintelligible] slams Pandora, he slams Maria, he slams SJ, he slams Ben, he slams Maria De La Rosa. I’m like, what?
Lisa No, but they all slammed us first though!
Jodi I know, but, I never said [unintelligible]—
Lisa They called us thieves and liars and stealing before [unintelligible]
Jodi [unintelligible] Well I dunno so much about what happened between him and Pandora and Maria and everything but he, he straight up just said a whole bunch of like, he dragged out records on people and humiliated them and I just, I dunno, it’s just. And then my art, like he—he doesn’t care about me. He slammed my art because he doesn’t like SJ. Like he still, like he so blinded by his dislike for SJ that he will throw my art under the bus just to get to SJ. He doesn’t care if it affects me. And he doesn’t care if affects my family and you know, their ability to travel to my trial. So, I dunno know, it’s just. I don’t — Everything says don’t trust Jason. Like, why was he so intent about having control over the money when my aunt started to — he, he coerced my aunt into giving her the password to the Paypal, giving him the password to my Paypal, which is weird, like, no one else needed that just to put it on the web site. You just need the code. But he wanted to be, he wanted more than that. Like every time he’s asking for more and more and more. And now he’s—
Lisa No. Well, that’s what I’m talkin’ about. I’m— Yer just getting all the wrong information. He wanted the password because he [unintelligible] to put, like a banner in there so it would look professional and—
Jodi I know, well—
Lisa I mean, everybody’s just twistin’ everything up.
Jodi Well, the problem though is that I told him, I told him this directly on the phone, the problem with you having that email is that now you get the email notifications and you’re not supposed to be getting them. And
[unintelligible]
Lisa Why though.
Jodi [unintelligible]
Lisa I know, but we fixed all that. We complied with everything you guys wanted. And then you still took it away.
So, I mean, we got everything straight before you took the domain away. — — — Are you still there?

Take it away if you please, oh beloved and much revered in house psychic.
Really, this is the first thing you make me do. You know I hate you right? Sigh. Fine, pass the Gravol and the Tylenol and lets get this shit show started.

Lisa, you fucking peon why do I even have to have this conversations with you right now? If you were working like you should be, I would not have to be doing this and could be thinking about new ways to stall the trial…..like leaking a three way phone conversation. Carry on. God you are stupid.

Anyway, I can’t let anybody think that I totally support a site that I totally support because it’s all about me,me,me because you guys are collecting money that might somehow end up in the Alexander’s hands due to that whole wrongful death thing. Assholes. I can’t believe you can even sue for that. That is why my Mormon god created irrevocable trusts. All money collections need to stay within my family because the tighter that particular box stays closed the less likely people are to figure out that the state has to pay for my appeals and shit. Appellate fund. I cannot believe they even went for that. Plus, I know you guys are making money off of me and I just will NOT have that. That money is mine. I murdered for it fair and square and I get to keep it. Fuck Son of Sam and fuck Juan Martinez. It’s mine.

For when I ultimately get released which is totally going to happen. I know they think this is just a penalty phase retrial, but I plan on retrying my entire case. I don’t care what Nurmi says, I can if I want too. Wait shit missed what this stupid bitch just said. Something about a banner? WTF? Anyway, you douches think you are going to make money off of my hard work and throw my art under a bus because it’s tracings of real art and you get my email notifications which is really a bad idea because of all the naked pics I have floating around out there. I don’t want you idiots to figure out who I really am. Like that would ever happen. I could cut off someone’s head in front of 20 of you and nobody would believe I did it, I am just that good. If it wasn’t for that goddamn Juan Martinez and his “evidence” I’d be out of here already. Jenny is still my friend, she’ll help me totally kick Juan’s ass this time. I hate that little bastard. How dare these people try and steal my murder money. Do they think I’m stupid. I’m Stabby Einstein bitch.

Whatever, I don’t need to talk to this moron anymore, like she understands anything that comes forth from my brilliant mind anyway. Bitch. Probably ugly too. I’m just gonna hang up and go admire myself in my stainless steel toilet or something. I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and……..I’m out. I still don’t think you pay me enough for this shit, but we both know I’ll be back. This is the in house Psychic going to try and drill a small hole in my head and bleach my brain. Back to you oh task master.

So there you have it kids. This is what Stabby was actually thinking while she was talking.


The Only Rational Explanation is that Stabby is Satan

September 1, 2014

No she isn’t but the bitch scares me -Satan

Well kids, I bring you another installment from the second circle of hell that is Arizona. There have been developments. There have been motions for sanctions because our favorite pitbull has not been darted recently. And caught in the middle of this whole goddamn shitshow is a family who has absolutely nothing to do with any of this.

Stabby got permission to re-visit the crime scene which of course is no longer a crime scene because the house has been sold and totally remodeled. So, what the fuck is there to see, find, smell, whatever. The only purpose for this is to kill some more time (bad choice of words but it stays) and to maybe fuck with the family that dared to buy the home that she thought would someday be hers a little bit. That Judge Stephens allowed this just does things to my brain that make me want to try and cleanse it with drano.

Stabby also has a private investigator that the state has to pay for by the way, to try and find people that will corroborate her assertions of domestic violence. More about that in a minute. Maybe the P/I will find the ninja’s, grandpa’s missing gun, and the rope that never existed while he’s at it. Or maybe he will go down to home depot and just buy some. Now, to the domestic violence issues and the fucktards that will believe anything. As most of you know, I am a victim of domestic violence. I am quite literally covered in scars. I have had more broken bones than I care to list off. I have had a fractured skull and had a shotgun loaded with a sabot shoved in my face. I am a defacto domestic violence expert and Stabby was about as much a domestic violence victim as my cat kitty friend. She will however find someone, somewhere that is willing to lie and say they saw her covered in bruises or some other such bullshit; so pay attention or mighty Pitbull because you will want to know every single thing about where this witness came from and why after 6 years of extensive and exhaustive investigations that not one shred of domestic violence was ever found.

I feel so bad for the family that bought Travis’ house. They just want it to be their home, not the place where a terrible crime took place and I don’t blame them. I feel so bad for the Alexander family because they are going to have to listen to all the lies about their brother all over again. I feel bad for the state of Arizona because this should have been over with a long time ago.


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