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The Really Big Mean Dog School of Law: Definitions of Terms Being Thrown About the Internet. Just For Everyone’s Edification.

October 11, 2014

Some People are like Christmas Everyday – Arizona

Good evening class, welcome back.  Please take your seats as we have a lot to cover this evening.  As you can see, I have redecorated the classroom.  I hope you all like it.  Chaz continues to work on the class seal.  It will be mounted as soon as he is done.  Feel free to wander around after class and get used to the new digs.

Now, it has come to my attention as your Law Professor and Dean of Fuckery that certain legal terms are being tossed willy nilly around the internet.  Your Professor is not amused.  I am not amused when people who have no clue throw hallowed legal terms around just to see if they can scare someone.  We will also be covering terms which will no doubt be brought up during the PENALTY PHASE RETRIAL OF THE CONVICTED MURDERESS

Before we begin, everyone stand for the singing of the class anthem.  Do not forget to face Florida and give the salute that I taught you.  Thank you.

Lets start with an easy one and just to make it fun, lets see how many apply to Stabby and or other people we know and hate:

Slander: oral defamation, in which someone tells one or more persons an untruth about another which untruth will harm the reputation of the person defamed. Slander is a civil wrong (tort) and can be the basis for a lawsuit. Damages (payoff for worth) for slander may be limited to actual (special) damages unless there is malicious intent, since such damages are usually difficult to specify and harder to prove. Some statements such as an untrue accusation of having committed a crime, having a loathsome disease, or being unable to perform one’s occupation are treated as slander per se since the harm and malice are obvious, and therefore usually result in general and even punitive damage recovery by the person harmed. Words spoken over the air on television or radio are treated as libel (written defamation) and not slander on the theory that broadcasting reaches a large audience as much if not more than printed publications. (See: defamation, fair comment) Check and Check.

Libel: to publish in print (including pictures), writing or broadcast through radio, television or film, an untruth about another which will do harm to that person or his/her reputation, by tending to bring the target into ridicule, hatred, scorn or contempt of others. Libel is the written or broadcast form of defamation, distinguished from slander which is oral defamation. It is a tort (civil wrong) making the person or entity (like a newspaper, magazine or political organization) Now, here is the important part so pay attention:  open to a lawsuit for damages by the person who can prove the statement about him/her was a lie. Publication need only be to one person, but it must be a statement which claims to be fact, and is not clearly identified as an opinion. Most states provide for a party defamed by a periodical to demand a published retraction. If the correction is made, then there is no right to file a lawsuit. Public records are exempt from claims of libel. Minor errors in reporting are not libel. Check and Check.

Stalking: Criminal activity consisting of the repeated following and harassing of another person. Stalking is a distinctive form of criminal activity composed of a series of actions that taken individually might constitute legal behavior. For example, sending flowers, writing love notes, and waiting for someone outside her place of work are actions that, on their own, are not criminal. When these actions are coupled with an intent to instill fear or injury, however, they may constitute a pattern of behavior that is illegal. Though anti-stalking laws are gender neutral, most stalkers are men and most victims are women unless your name is Stabby or some other female type person. Oh look, check and check again.

Cyberstalking: the use of the Internet or other electronic means to stalk or harass an individual, a group of individuals, or an organization. It may include the making of false accusations or statements of fact (as in defamation), monitoring, making threats, identity theft, damage to data or equipment, the solicitation of minors for sex, or gathering information that may be used to harass. The definition of “harassment” must meet the criterion that a reasonable person, in possession of the same information, would regard it as sufficient to cause another reasonable person distress.[1] Cyberstalking is different from spatial or offline stalking in that it occurs through the use of electronic communications technology such as the internet. However, it sometimes leads to it, or is accompanied by it.[2] Both are criminal offenses.[3] Cyberstalking shares important characteristics with offline stalking; many stalkers – online or off – are motivated by a desire to control their victims.[4] So like hacking a persons emails or sending them eleventybillion emails or stuff like that. Hey we are going for a record. Check and check.

Harrassment: covers a wide range of behaviors of an offensive nature. It is commonly understood as behavior intended to disturb or upset, and it is characteristically repetitive. In the legal sense, it is intentional behavior which is found threatening or disturbing. Once again we have two winners.

allege: a way to avoid a libel claim.

Objection: a motion during a trial to disallow a witness’s testimony or other evidence. You know like Objection, testimony has no basis in reality.

Hater: Anyone who does not believe Stabby’s version of events, whichever ones she puts forth.

Orifice: An opening, especially to a cavity or passage of the body; Learn this one, it’s going to come up A LOT during the re-trial.

KY: a brand of personal lubricant also see baby oil, Crisco, whatever the fuck is handy at that moment.

Mouth Hug: Apparently it is how Stabby offers to blow someone.

Jizz: Jizz is just Jizz.

There will be a short quiz next class on these terms. I expect all of you to be able to use each one in a sentence.

Class dismissed.

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Could That Sound I Hear be a………Backfire?

September 22, 2014

Wishing I could clone Sheriff Joe – Arizona

Hai Kids. Well, by now you have already heard the stunning (spoiler: No one is stunned)news that Stabby’s esteemed Judge has decided that now is the time to black out the courtroom. Um, you all have to become Lawyers and practice law and shit before you become Judges in Arizona right? I shook my head so damn hard when I read the wording of that decision I think a gave myself a concussion. Just, WOW. Huge error in my opinion. For whatever it’s worth. Before we get into the meat of Sheriff Joe’s latest, I wanted to let you all know that I have put a donation button up on the bottom of my blog. Why? Because writing really is my job. It is strictly voluntary. VOLUNTARY. You don’t haveta if you don’t wanna.

Why can you spell Sheriff with two R’s or one R and spellcheck does not have a fuck to give? I can’t even use Canadian spelling or my computer has an aneurism. What is that about?

Sheriff Joe is suddenly hitting all the high notes for me peeps. His beautifully written fuck off and die letter to that film maker was so beautiful I wanted to weep. Sherriff Joe upped the ante today when he rolled off a letter regarding Stabby and the press tour she still seems intent on having.

Since Sheriff Joe stepped out of the closet, he has been intent on burning that bitch down. No longer a quiet Stabby hater, Sherriff Joe now seems intent on letting us see via written word every ounce of contempt he holds for Stabby. I wonder if he actually almost bit his tongue off trying to bite back his feelings of utter contempt for Stabbykins, and he said fuck it, I’m not injuring myself for some murdering slut? Or something.

Anyway, today Sheriff Joe released another doozy of a letter letting the press, the citizens of Arizona, me, and earth in general know just how hard he thinks Stabby should suck it.

Sherriff Joe said, to paraphrase:………From the Sheriff Joe Homey Don’t Play That House of Indefinite Incarceration……….

Because all of you assholes can make money off a murdering twat no matter what bullshit comes out of her mouth and I know there will be fiftyfivebillion requests, I have decided to shut all you bitches down before you even get started.

In case any of you forgot, the bitch has already been convicted of first degree murder.

She is a complete narcissist who is very good at manipulating the simple minded. She is actually getting these idiots to sell things for her. She even tried to get a documentary filmed about her but I shut that shit down.

I understand that television stations need to make some cheddar, but not on my watch. Bitch had lied long enough and I am sick and tired of listening to her bullshit. Therefore, if you haven’t already figured it out, any requests for interviews with this sadistic bitch will be DENIED.

Actual Press release below.

Arias no media

Oh Sheriff Joe. Your immense annoyance makes me weep with joy. I think I love you Sheriff Joe. I think we all do.

Oh, and while we don’t get cameras, the lovely and talented Jen from Trial Diaries is able to tweet so we can at least sort of know what’s going on.

Donate Button with Credit Cards


I Promise to Tell the Truth, Part of the Truth, or None of the Truth……Whatever is Working For Me at The Time……Maybe.

September 17, 2014

The “Sherriff Joe Homey Don’t Play That House of Indefinite Incarceration” may have room for one more soon – Arizona

Hai Kids. It’s me, number 1 (Okay number 2 if you count Juan) Stabby hater extraordinaire Kelly. I am here with updates. We have actual written down in the court minutes trial dates. Jury Selection will start September 29th and the PENALTY PHASE RETRIAL is set to run through December 12, 2014 with the court dark on Fridays. I figure Judge Stephens finally said fuck it, every weekend is a long weekend till this bitch is off my docket forever. She has fully stocked the side-bar and has personally tested all the bottles to make sure they do indeed contain liquor.

Golden Corral has hired extra line cooks in preparation for the 200lbs Alfred E. Nurmi is going to put back on during this shit show.

All weed dealers in the immediate area have checked their phone lines and made sure they are still on Jenny From the Cell Blocks speed dial. Pageant moms across Arizona have submitted original designs for gowns for the glamour portion of the trial.

Esteban Flores has stocked up on good boy treats and checked the catch pole to make sure the loop closes properly. His order of squeaky Nurmi dog toys is expected next week.

The court vet has double checked his tranquilizer supply and fired off a couple of test rounds to make sure the gun is firing properly. Wouldn’t want a miss-fire in the courtroom when Juan is really foaming at the mouth.

Juan has finally calmed down from his laughing fit and was seen mauling an attack dummy in preparation for the re-trial.

Stabby has been endlessly doodling in hopes of an impromptu art show of her totally ripped off from other artists designs. Tracing is a mitigating factor you know.

ChaCha Delarosa Was seen trying on outfits to wear to the re-trial. She was going for a more professional look this time. I think it worked.
ChaCha DeLaRosa

Alyce in Blunderland has not come out of hiding since the first trial.

Stabby’s Pencil was seen getting a new point. Looking sharp Pencil!!

All the Chairs of the Court are safe in the Ikea protection program. The will be brought to court by moving van convoy flanked by swat teams early on the morning of the 29th.

The ninjas and the screwdriver Skateboard gang were unavailable for comment.

Lisa Schilling and Jason Weber were last seen in Las Vegas. Their whereabouts now is unknown.


Really Big Mean Dog Publishing Presents: The Big Book of Words

September 16, 2014

for everyone’s edification, Stabby doesn’t know what edify means – Arizona

Oh hai everybody. I have decided to branch out into publishing to bring you the Big Book of Words. In an effort to help make everyone more Einstein-y than they are now, I have re-watched all the trial footage. ALL. OF. IT….So..you’re welcome. Don’t worry though, I already had the flu so the vomiting didn’t bother me much. I then put together a list of all the big words Stabby used during the trial. Well, not all of them, just the ones that were used for no other reason than to use a big word, words that were used incorrectly and words that most normal people unless they were writing a thesaurus would never use in a sentence. I have also included a few words that Juan or Nurmi threw out there (not the ones Nurmi made up though) that Stabby either incorporated into a sentence later or were just big words that irritated me. I have decided that because nothing makes sense about this trial I am going to post them in order of appearance or when I thought of them instead of in alphabetical order because why not. On a totally unrelated note, I decided I better grab reallybigmeandog.com before one of the Wackadoo’s from Camp Stabby decided to fuck with it.
YAY!!

Most of the words contained in the Big Book of Words will be multi-syllabic. Stabby must have cruised right over single syllable words because only less Einstein-y then her people use them. Stabby also may know a lot of big words, but she does not understand the definition of quite a few of them.

Imply/Infer – Imply – indicate the truth by suggestion rather than by explicit reference. Ex. Stabby implied that she was more Einstein-y than her lawyers. Infer -conclude from evidence rather than from explicit statements. Ex. When I write, I am inferring that Stabby is stupid and uses big words to cover it up.

Edify – To teach someone in a way that improves character. Also to enlighten or inform. Stabby obviously has no idea what this word means since during Jurors questions she stated ” I wanted to Edify Travis only in good ways at that point, I didn’t want to say anything bad.” Pretty hard to enlighten, inform or teach somebody that’s dead…..just sayin’

De-edify – NOT A WORD unless you are all Einstein-y and can just invent words to go with the words you don’t know the meaning of to begin with.

Debase – to lower the value or reputation of someone/thing or to make less respectable. Apparently Stabby is all too familiar with the definition of debase.

Hotti Biscotti – Anybody Stabby is considering fucking at some point in time.

Monogamous – The state or practice of having only one sexual partner at a time. Unless you are Stabby….and you have to meet Ryan Burns.

Pedestrian – Adjective. Lacking inspiration or enlightenment. Dull. Stabby’s definition…insignificant.

Pejorative – A word or phrase that is intended to belittle. Expressing criticism. First used in court by Juan who immediately retracted it and instead used belittle. glommed onto and used by Stabby only 12:36 minutes later. Used incorrectly.

Contemporaneously – consisting or happening at the same time. Stabby murdered Travis and took pictures contemporaneously.

Ameliorate – to make something bad or unsatisfactory better. Stabby getting the death penalty would ameliorate the situation.

Discombobulated – disconcert or confuse. Juan has Stabby completely discombobulated.

Paaaar-tic-u-lar – exactly like particular, but much more important the way Stabby says it. (for Stabby’s Pencil)

Thank you for reading the first edition of the Big Book of Words. Really Big Mean Dog publishing sincerely hopes you feel much more Einstein-y than you did before you started.

If I have missed anything put it in the comments and I will publish it in volume two of the Big Book of Words.


Here We Go Again…….Some More……Still!!

September 11, 2014

now moving to the fourth circle of hell – Arizona

Oh Hai Kids. I’m just blogging up the stratosphere today aren’t I. Well, it can’t be helped. Things are happening. Important things. Spoiler – not really it just makes me feel needed.

Stabby has been a crazy busy psychopath Today. Well, I guess crazy and psychopath everyday but the rest just today. Yeah. Don’t even ask, I’ve been awake for three days and I’m not fully convinced this isn’t just some weird dream.

I digress. Stabby has legally relinquished the Pro-se right she always intended to relinquish as soon as she got this whole J4STabby thing sorted out thanks to Cha Cha Delarosa.
Goddamn people trying to steal her murder money. Lets see who actually has a dog in this fight.

Click on the images to enlarge

Stabby's Arch Nemisis #2 Meet Jason. Stabby’s number one arch nemesis right at this particular moment. He is basically a piece of human shit in clothes. He is also Stabby art thrower under the busser and thief that is trying to steal stabby’s money. He seems to have peaced out so there may or may not be a gang of screwdriver wielding skateboarding ninjas looking for him. I can’t confirm but I don’t doubt anything at this point.

Stabby's best friend ChaCha Delarosa Stabby’s Mitigation specialist/dance instructor and Stabby’s new best friend. Totally malleable. The Latina version of Alyce in Blunderland. Terrible chess player. Hater of ice cream parties and Las Vegas.

Lisa's icecream party And Finally Lisa Schilling Ice Cream Party and Las Vegas Lover. Butthurt and Dissalussioned Ex(Maybe) Stabby Supporter. Possibly my new best friend. We will see.

So, in a nut shell. A three way call that is not allowed was placed from Sherriff Joes Homey Don’t Play That prison. He got pissed, Stabby decided she isn’t Jack McCoy (If you don’t know who that is shame on you and google it) Fucktard Jason seems to have peaced out, and ChaCha and Lisa are debating about the Merits of an Icecream Party in Vegas. Did I mention we are all invited? Should be fun.

Nurmi is in for the ice cream party as long as it’s all you can eat. He said to tell you all that Death by Ice Cream sounds perfectly acceptable to him and it will save some money that he was going to spend eating himself to death at Golden Corral.

Nurmi’s Chair has gone into the Ikea Protection Program and all attempts at contact thus far have been in vain. Stabby’s Pencil is very worried. If anyone see’s him rolling around tell him Stabby’s pencil and RBMD said hey.

Stabby’s Bangs have made contact and tell me they are looking forward to the re-trial.

Stabby’s Diary is apparently pumping lead in preparation for the retrial. So buff Diary!! Good Job.

Stabby’s Pencil is just concerned about Nurmi’s Chair and doesn’t want to talk about it.

Stabby’s Multiple personalities have so far not returned our calls for comment.

Juan Martinez was still laughing last time we asked for comment.

Stabby is going for the record of most motions in order to delay a trial in the history of ever. She was in court and ask for a brief Ex-Parte which of course means Stabby wants another delay. Maybe you really can just delay a trial until you die of natural causes. Speedy trial be damned.

And please God let that be my last Stabby update of the day. I have to be in Pretoria for Whatever O’clock.


Sherriff Joe Vs The Volcano – Whatever, it fit, don’t judge me.

September 11, 2014

Insanity really is relative – Arizona
See What I did there? So, it is my day three of my never sleep again tour. I have stabby, I have Pusstorias, I have a bunch of other shit that may turn into shit that I am working on and now I’ve had the anti upped by one Film Maker and all the shenanigans at the JusticeforStabby website. I am drowning in crazy.

Before we get into the meat and potatoes of this blog, I have to give a HUGE shout out to The Juan Martinez Prosecutor Support Page, because they have been ferretting out stuff for me all damn night. If you are into facebook go check them out, it’s a good site for info on what Stabby and the Funky Bunch are up to. https://www.facebook.com/JuanMartinezProsecutorSupportPage

I always thought Sherriff Joe was a Misogynistic little prick with a mean spirit and a huge dose of delusions of grandeur on the side. I still do. However his crazy is relevant to my interests and I find that all the mean things I said out loud about him are still totally true, except now it involves Stabby so I can’t hate it. Damn you Sherriff Joe. (Not really Sherriff Joe, if you ran for office right now and I lived there I’d vote for you.)

See, Sherriff Joe has been in the closet for a very long time and he was afraid to come out. That made me think he was a weak little man. I was sooooo wrong. He stepped out in spectacular fashion the other day. Sherriff Joe was a closet stabby hater. No more. Bitch stepped out of that closet, locked the door and burned it down. All under the brilliant guise of what is best for the prison and Arizona and the population of earth in general. He wrote this. It may be the most eloquent fuck off and die letter I have ever read. I laughed, I cried, I hoped for a second page. It was however the last paragraph that made me love Sherriff Joe.

To put it succinctly. I am in charge, she is not. She can pretty much suck it if she thinks the whole world doesn’t realize what she is doing. I am sick of all her whining demanding bullshit. She is lying. I am peacing the fuck out. You are DENIED. The whole letter appears below in case you haven’t seen it. There are no doubt going to be several other blogs today. Pusstorius for sure, and more on Stabby and the whole mess that is J4Stabby.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10635973_293197484207168_5941767300516486712_n.jpg?oh=8dc78723a18a934b944bbceef3f6ea01&oe=5485D9CB&__gda__=1419045491_a9278972d448288248898730d92c7152

K, now I’m peacing the fuck out. Gotta make coffee. No I don’t run on pure amusing venom. Don’t tell anyone.


Bwaahahahahahahahaha!!!

September 10, 2014

Oh Holy Fuck, the stupid whore’s resigning – Arizona

Oh hai everybody. It’s your favorite number one Stabby hater here with absolutely shocking news. spoiler (no one’s shocked)

In what could be yet her 9 millionth attempt at never having this trial happen, Stabby has once again reversed her decision to represent herself. Dun dun dun!! I gotta hand it to stabbykins. She is an inventive little fucker. Either that or she came out of the fog long enough to realize that Multiple personality disorder is a valid defense and she said fuck it let’s just go with that.

I know, I know you all have a bajillion questions and I may even have answers to some of them. Will it delay the trial? Odds are 9-1 against. Jenny from the Cell Block and Alfred E. have been kept on as advisory council so they have to be up to date on where she was going with this
.
Why the hell is Cha Cha Delarosa who is supposed to be her mitigation advisor tweeting all over the fucking place? 7-3 for Stabby made her do it.

Will Lisa now actually go and have an ice cream party in Las Vegas? 50/50. My theory is this always was meant to generate income for Lisa and the rest of the troglodytes mentioned in that phone call so I’m betting for. By the way, we are all invited. See. Lisa's icecream party

How does Juan feel about all this? Nobody knows, he can’t stop laughing long enough to answer.

How does Alfed E. Nurmi feel about this? He’s already been seen headed for an all you can eat buffet.

So we can now expect a fourth defense of “my other personalities made me do it” or she will have one of her council whacked to delay the trial again.

Stay tuned kids, it’s gonna be a loooooong night I think. And I’ve got Pistorius to deal with sometime tonight. *sigh* pass the gravol and the Stabby strength Tylenol.


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