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The Really Big Mean Dog School of Law: Motion to Quash Motion to Quash Consideration of Death Penalty

October 4, 2014

-I can write an amicus brief, as well as my motion to quash, contemporaneously – Arizona

Hello Class.  Professor Kelly is very busy today so please sit down and take notes.  Today’s lesson will be on frivolous motions that have no bearing on anything ever.  Apparently in Arizona, you can bring the exact same motion before the court eleventy billion times in the hopes that the judge might let one slip past.  Well, this Law Professor is not having it so I am bringing a motion to quash the motion to quash.

First, a quick lesson on motions.

Motion in United States law. In United States law, a motion is a procedural device to bring a limited, contested issue before a court for decision. It is a request to the judge (or judges) to make a decision about the case.

A motion to quash is a request to a court to render a previous decision of that court or a lower judicial body null or invalid. It can arise out of mistakes made by any lawyer in a court proceeding.

A motion to quash in the case of The Great State of Arizona and King Juan 1 V Stabby Anal Arias is a request to the court to render a perfectly valid decision invalid because the Queen of the Universe is starting to see that needle in her dreams. 

Once a motion has been filed, unfortunately the presiding judge has no choice but the read the stupid fucking thing, laugh hysterically, pass it around to the office so they can all laugh hysterically and then stamp a big fat DENIED on it.

Now I have been a Law Professor for weeks and I have never seen a motion that is 59 pages long ever. That was not a type-o. Alfred E. is pulling out all the stops on this one. If he is going down it is going to be in flames since this is possibly the most insane and incoherent motion that this Law Professor has ever read. It’s almost like he let pigvomit write it.

Because I feel really bad that Judge Stephens has to read and rule on this thing, I have decided to bring my own goddamn motion. My Motion To Quash the Motion to Quash the Consideration of the Death Penalty appears below. I managed to come in at somewhere under 59 pages, so no world record for me.

Professor Kelly Really Big Mean Dog McFadden #666666
Really Big Mean Dog School Of Law
52 Main Street Rockford
Buttfuck No Where
Planet Earth- Mostly
youaresoscrewed@gmail.com

Attorney of record for defense of actual lawyers everywhere and probably the constitution
This motion is brought forth in answer to war and peace uh, I mean the 59 page motion filed by Alfred E. Nurmi and his band of lackey’s et al.

It is the contention of the Really Big Mean Dog School of Law that the Motion to dismiss State’s Notice Of Intent to Seek the Death Penalty Due to Continued State Misconduct is flawed on several levels and therefore I respectfully present my motion to quash their motion to quash the states motion of intent to seek the death penalty.

I make this motion based on Stabby’s choice to continue to engage in a persistent pattern of general fuckery which has left her in a position where she has not a leg to stand on.
When considering this motion I ask the court to consider only real facts and not the ones that Stabby and her minions have made up. You know, like the fact that she almost cut Travis’ head off. Finally, given the ever changing nature of the stories she makes up, I reserve the right to supplement this motion any time I feel like it.

Summary of Argument.

The bitch did it.
The bitch admitted she did it.
The bitch does not have a non made up mitigating factor anywhere.

Relevant Facts

She stabbed a man 27 times, cut his neck so deep his head almost fell off and shot him.
She did it because she was a jealous narcissistic butthurt bitch.
She couldn’t care less that she killed a man.

Other Relevant Facts

Someone made up a fake account for Detective Flores Wife with the handle Imbossthatway
We all know that it was Sandra Webber
She is doing everything in her power to get herself put into the middle of this trial
She may or may not be hot for the defendant
She is trying very hard to ruin the reputation of a fine detective and his very lovely wife
She needs to stop before shit gets real.
All the other crap in the motion to dismiss has already been seen about as many times as Stabby’s cooch.

Facts Relating to the State Letting Potential Mitigation Witnesses Know That if They Lied They Would Be Charged With Perjury

Patty Womack was warned that she would be questioned on the murder money she got for selling pictures to various media outlets. Patty was worried since she is on Welfare and she could be charged and her free money taken away, which would cause her to not be able to procure drugs.
Matt McCartney was warned that he would be charged with perjury for lying about Travis being a pedophile.
Mom of Stabby was told she would be questioned about all the non beatings and all the fun things she had to say about her psycho daughter during police questioning.

Conclusion

The defenses actions in the case tell a tale of misconduct and fame seeking which started long before this trial ever did. As the facts of the above very obviously demonstrate, this motion should have never been brought forth and I urge the court to regard it for what it is; another waste of a lot of perfectly good paper and yet another stall tactic by the defense. I request that the motion be quashed.

Respectfully Submitted this 4th day of October 2014

Kelly M McFadden
Professor of Law and Dean of Fuckery
Really Big Mean Dog School Of Law.

And there you have it class, a perfectly written motion to quash. Class dismissed.

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I Promise to Tell the Truth, Part of the Truth, or None of the Truth……Whatever is Working For Me at The Time……Maybe.

September 17, 2014

The “Sherriff Joe Homey Don’t Play That House of Indefinite Incarceration” may have room for one more soon – Arizona

Hai Kids. It’s me, number 1 (Okay number 2 if you count Juan) Stabby hater extraordinaire Kelly. I am here with updates. We have actual written down in the court minutes trial dates. Jury Selection will start September 29th and the PENALTY PHASE RETRIAL is set to run through December 12, 2014 with the court dark on Fridays. I figure Judge Stephens finally said fuck it, every weekend is a long weekend till this bitch is off my docket forever. She has fully stocked the side-bar and has personally tested all the bottles to make sure they do indeed contain liquor.

Golden Corral has hired extra line cooks in preparation for the 200lbs Alfred E. Nurmi is going to put back on during this shit show.

All weed dealers in the immediate area have checked their phone lines and made sure they are still on Jenny From the Cell Blocks speed dial. Pageant moms across Arizona have submitted original designs for gowns for the glamour portion of the trial.

Esteban Flores has stocked up on good boy treats and checked the catch pole to make sure the loop closes properly. His order of squeaky Nurmi dog toys is expected next week.

The court vet has double checked his tranquilizer supply and fired off a couple of test rounds to make sure the gun is firing properly. Wouldn’t want a miss-fire in the courtroom when Juan is really foaming at the mouth.

Juan has finally calmed down from his laughing fit and was seen mauling an attack dummy in preparation for the re-trial.

Stabby has been endlessly doodling in hopes of an impromptu art show of her totally ripped off from other artists designs. Tracing is a mitigating factor you know.

ChaCha Delarosa Was seen trying on outfits to wear to the re-trial. She was going for a more professional look this time. I think it worked.
ChaCha DeLaRosa

Alyce in Blunderland has not come out of hiding since the first trial.

Stabby’s Pencil was seen getting a new point. Looking sharp Pencil!!

All the Chairs of the Court are safe in the Ikea protection program. The will be brought to court by moving van convoy flanked by swat teams early on the morning of the 29th.

The ninjas and the screwdriver Skateboard gang were unavailable for comment.

Lisa Schilling and Jason Weber were last seen in Las Vegas. Their whereabouts now is unknown.


Stabby’s Bangs Said to Say Hi.

September 15, 2014

Typing with one hand because my left ring finger is kinda jacked – Arizona

Oh hai kids. Todays blog will be brought to you by Fakor eyewear in remembrance of Stabby’s glasses. Sadly, we were unable to negotiate a hostage trade for them. I want you to know we did our best. We offered, poprocks, tootsie pops, a couple of forged documents, 2 strawberry frapachinos and a penicillin shot in exchange for the glasses. They countered with the locations of Nurmi’s and all the other chairs of the court which obviously we could not do. Sorry Stabby’s glasses. We tried our best.

Since we were unable to secure their release, Stabby’s glasses are up for auction for a starting bid of 500 dollars. Net proceeds to be donated to an unnamed “charity.” This is on the Auntie Stabby run site as opposed to the J4Stabby site which is the one run by our Ice Cream party/Vegas loving friend Lisa Schilling and Jason the Grifter/Piece of human Garbage Weber. The best part of this auction is that you have to put up a “refundable” $250 in order to bid. I have a couple of problems with this auction. The first one being net proceeds. If there are net proceeds that means that there were gross proceeds. While I agree that it’s Stabby so there is likely gross everything, I am very curious as to what her overhead costs were for this auction. Now, I have not attended the Dyson School of Applied Economics which may/may not actually exist, but I do know what gross and net mean. I have also noticed that on all of Stabby’s totally original tracings of other actual artworks, the same verbiage appears. So, what are we deducting from what we actually bring in (gross) to come up with what actually gets donated (net)? Stabby’s eye glasses would have been paid for by the State of Arizona during her incarceration so we can’t deduct the cost of those. Auntie Stabby has already said she refused to take an administration fee to look after Stabby’s stuff, so nope not that. I’m pretty sure ChaCha just smuggled the glasses out of jail so they didn’t have to be mailed or picked up by Auntie stabby so there is no overhead there either. Odd. The only other thing I can think if is the actual auction costs which I am guessing are going to be right around $500 or up. Wow, I solved a mystery.

Stabby was in court today so Judge Stephens could remove her as her own attorney and re-appoint Alfred E. Nurmi as her lawyer. She also said there would be no ex-parte hearing which totally pissed Stabby off. While I am starting to really dislike Judge Stephens she did get a few brownie points for the ex-parte refusal.

Stabby has a new hairdo. Since trial might actually be looming, Stabby actually had to cut her hair in case anybody came out of the fog long enough to remember all that crap about donating it for wigs for cancer patients. It actually worked out well for her because she looked even uglier than she did during the first trial. Prison food is also not agreeing with poor Stabby. Without her make-up artists you can see that Stabby has developed quite the zit flare-up. She could not help but gaze longingly into the pool camera during the entire proceeding.

Next we moved on to the camera motion. Our valiant little pitbull Juan Martinez has finally weighed in on the camera question. Since it is entirely possible that Juan hates Stabby more than anybody else on the planet, he decided that if there was a way to fuck with her, he would find it and use it. Today he came down on the side of having the PENALTY PHASE retrial aired. For those of you that don’t remember, up until now the state has taken no position on airing the retrial. Today he stated that it is the prosecutors opinion that the felon simply wants to control what information is or is not released publicly as proved by her giving several interviews throughout the trial including an interview right after the verdict. He sat down and Judge Stephens threw him a good-boy treat.

David Bodney, the very good attorney who represents several media outlets argued strenuously to allow the camera’s once again into the courtroom. He made many excellent points, stating that court proceedings are supposed to be public not cloaked in secrecy. He said that Stabby herself was the one who willingly and with seeming glee jumped onto the (“Yay, a camera I am going to be so famous”) bandwagon and the public should not be punished because she can’t control herself. He also said that to not allow them is frankly unconstitutional sighting supreme court decisions about camera’s in the courtroom. He asked for anyone to offer one bit of case law that argued differently. I personally want this trial aired on TV for very obvious reasons, but that aside Mr. Bodney is correct. He wants the ruling amended to a 30 minute delay between sessions which seems fairly equitable to me. Oh look, I brought the big book of words out again. YAY!!

Nurmi was next on the lets see if we can just argue this motion until she dies of natural causes train, but since Nurmi is totally over this whole mess, he didn’t really argue to strenuously or coherently for that matter. He said something about having assured the mitigations witnesses (really? They found more than one?) that there would be a media blackout. He said he was trying to protect Stabby from herself. He said that just because there were not enough seats in the courtroom was no reason that the re-trial needed to be aired to the world which to me says that the people that can get seats are somehow more deserving of seeing the trial. Apparently I was not the only one who saw it that way as Mr. Bodney also has a huge problem with that statement. While Alfred E. Nurmi is once again the first chair, the arguments he presented today were insignificant enough to show that he isn’t exactly thrilled about it. Everybody now feel bad for Nurmi. Or don’t, either or is good.

In other exciting Stabby news, she has waived her right to be at tomorrows hearing to go over jury selection procedure. Jury selection is still on to start on September 29th but I am not holding my breath. Expect either another “suicide attempt”, hospitalization for a brain tumor or a switch to unable to proceed due to her multiple personalities not being able to agree on what course of action to take. Someone tweeted for Stabby that it is taking new migraine medication so I’m betting on the brain tumor.

That’s it for tonight everybody. We have shit developing regarding ChaCha Delarosa and how deeply she is connected to the whole Stabby money collection scam. I will as always keep you updated.


The Magical Thinking of Stabby Einstein. An Auntie Really Big Mean Dog Bedtime Story

September 7, 2014

Well, hello chirruns, pull up a chair and let Auntie really big mean dog tell you all a story about the Magical thinking of Stabby Einstein.

Once upon a time in the second circle of hell there lived a violent sociopath named Stabby Einstein. Now Stabby Einstein was what we like to call a special kind of fucked, both literally and figuratively. Ohhh look at me using big words. Sorry, I digress. Stabby Einstein was the smartest, prettiest, most talented person in her own head. She decided one day that with her powers of superior intellect and a hell of a good show she could pretty much get whatever it was that she wanted. Envisioning what she wanted she first came up with a dude old enough to be her Grand Da but hey she wanted a house and with her powers of magical thinking and some really good anal, poof a house magically appeared. She hadn’t quite figured out how to disappear Grand Da once the house appeared but hey she thought, maybe magical thinking and a really good show only works in forward.

With that firmly in mind she went forward. From one magical low paying job to another. Sometimes two at a time. How magical. Then she discovered pre-paid legal and she decided that with her Einstein like mind and her magical powers she should be rich in no time. Well, one cannot be rich if they don’t look the part, so she took her magical mortgage payment money and once again using her powers turned it into a pair of fake tits. My gosh Stabby girl she thought to herself, this magical thinking shit really works. I can have whatever I want. I just have to believe I can have it and it will be mine.

Stabby Einstein was invited to the ball at pre-paid legal but her evil Grand Da/ fuck buddy didn’t want her to go. Stabby was sad. She decided to go anyway. There she met her prince charming Travis. She was transfixed. I must have him she said with a wicked cackle and started magically thinking it so that it would happen. She turned her magical wonder holes into a relationship with Travis. Holy shit it worked again, and this time she had the extra added bonus of figuring out how to get rid of stuff she no longer wanted. Once Grand Da Brewer discovered that the magical holes he thought were his were being plugged up by someone else, he peaced the fuck out and good thing too because he might be buried with Jimmy Hoffa otherwise.

Stabby now having figured out most of the kinks (ha, I said kinks and it stays) in her magical thinking proceeded to lure Travis with promises of even more perverse sexual acts than previously promised. Bondage? Sure. Anal? Oh yes please. Insertions of various forms of candy in various holes? Absolutely. Blindfolds? Check. Farm animals? Not off the table. Because she knew even with her superior intellect she was never going to have Travis unless she magically put a spell on him via her magical fake tits and all of her orifices she decided it was pretty much anything goes.

Stabby’s magical thinking worked for a while. She was getting boned by a really hot dude on a regular basis and of course she was willing him to marry her. The problem was the magic wasn’t working this time. Stabby Einstein thought and thought. Ah ha she said one night (she was prone to having entire conversations with herself so this was actually not a big deal) it’s the religion thing. He actually seriously believes in his Mormon god, therefor I must magically become a Mormon and than surely he will marry me. She was very excited to tell Travis that she wanted to become a Mormon and she silently thought that magical underclothes could not hurt along with all the rest of her magic. She became Mormon and was magically transformed. Surely now her prince would marry her. It was however not to be. Travis had seen through the facade of Stabby Einstein and he wanted nothing to do with her. He realized he had only ever been interested in her because she had absolutely no qualms about doing ANYTHING in the bedroom and she was dumb enough to not realize that sex does not equal love. Price Travis wanted someone he could love and respect and Stabby Einstein was not that woman. He broke it off and Stabby was stunned. And mad. Don’t forget mad, it’s important later.

Travis felt so much lighter when he broke it off with her, but his dick had a mind of it’s own and it missed being stuffed into something on a regular basis. Sadly one night Travis decided that friends with benefits might not be a bad idea. It was. He realized it quickly and told Stabby Einstein that she had to go.

Stabby moved back to Yreka but she never ever ever stopped thinking about Prince Travis and the fact that even with her strongest magic she could not make this one thing so. It slowly began to eat at any semblance of sanity that was at this point resideing in her earthly body. Stabby started thinking that she had been done wrong by prince Travis and she slowly put her magical thinking into action one last time and hit upon a foolproof plan to get even with Prince Travis.

First, she magically made her Grand Da’s (her real one, not the one she was boning earlier in the story) .25 caliber handgun disappear. Next, Stabby Einstein planned a trip to see some dude. She then went to a rental car company and rented a car. She had it magically changed from red to white. She went to the Grand da she’d previously been boning and traded him a DVD player for a couple of gas cans. She was pleased with the way things were working out so far. Still, she needed a magical disguise. She turned her platinum hair magically brown and was on her way. She filled up the gas cans in California and just to be sure she had enough she stopped at Walmart and bought another can. She was now ready to enact her magical plan of revenge.

She drove to Travis’ house. Her cell phone magically stopped working so nobody could tell where she was until it magically turned back on later. She went to see Prince Travis one last time. Poor Prince Travis never saw what was coming. She was offering up free cooch and he was just a mortal man after all. They banged a couple of times and then she tricked him into the shower with talk of a photo shoot. As Prince Travis was in the shower two Ninja’s magically appeared and holy shit one of them had made Grand da Einsteins gun re-appear. The other Ninja had made a knife materialize. Who the fuck even knew that ninjas could do David Copperfield shit. Not this story teller.

Anyway, Stabby Einstein wasn’t mad at poor Prince Travis anymore, she did everything she could to save him but then the Ninjas got her. With a mighty burst of magical strength she bull dogged the female ninja and crawled over to Travis. Travis was only concerned for his true love Stabby Einstein and he told her to get out and get help because he couldn’t move and he wanted her to live. She was trying to escape when the Ninjas caught her. They argued about whether to kill Stabby or not and they decided to do it. Stabby started thinking magical thoughts like she had never thought before and her magic worked one last time and the gun refused to fire, so instead of using the knife or some other weapon, the ninja’s decided to let her go.

Stabby drove and drove and drove until she was in the desert. She had no recollection of how she got there or what had happened. She looked down and saw some blood on her hands and immediately wondered who she had murdered. She had no memory of Prince Travis, or the Ninja’s or anything. So badly was her memory damaged she called Prince Travis to see if he wanted to come visit her later in the year. She decided she might as well just carry on to her next hook up so she did. They got all touchy feely, they went out for dinner and then Stabby Einstein went back home to Yreka where she returned the rental car which had some weird Kool-Aid stain in it, but she magically thought again and the dude at the rent a car place cleaned it for her. What a nice man, maybe she’d thank you fuck him later.

After that she was magically arrested. The police who had absolutely no idea how magical thinking worked, refused to believe her about the Ninja’s and she rotted in jail till the day her trial started.


The Phone call that Rocked the World (not really but I couldn’t think of another title)

September 6, 2014

Crazy just asked for itself to be redefined-Arizona

Well kiddies, looks like Stabby Einstein really is the gift that keeps on giving. After serious and intense contract negotiations with my in house Psychic she is back (thank you jesus) and we all get to find out what stabby really meant during that totally not orchestrated or released on purpose phone recording.

First, a few interesting points. Three way calls are the big no no in Jail. BIG no no. And not the big no no that resides south of Stabby’s belt line. Also, Satan Skyped me earlier and he now wants a per diem every time his input is needed for something related to this trial. I think he’s trying to save up so he can peace the fuck out if Stabby actually gets the death penalty because apparently even the prince of darkness doesn’t want anything to do with that kind of crazy. He said something about Judas Iscariot and PolPot running the show in his absence so no worries, hell will still be looked after. Oh and apparently Caligula will be performing once a week. There are still seats up front just in case you are interested.

Anyway, here is a copy of what the phone call said, and then we are going to have our lovely, talented and totally appreciated in house psychic tell us what the conversation was really about. Did I thank Jesus yet for my in house psychic. God forbid I have to do these things myself. Also, I had to go to the first circle of hell which is the “stabby Arias is innocent” Bwhahahahaha, sorry I can never type that without laughing, website to get this, so….you’re welcome.

Jodi Lisa
Lisa Yes – hey Jodi
Jodi I thought you were at work. Hey, um—
Lisa Well, I’m at lunch right now
Jodi Oh, okay. Who was it that told me? Oh, Maria [Del La Rosa], she said that, um, someone had told her that you had said online last night that I was supportive of the site and I don’t want to give people that impression because I can’t support the site right now as long as you guys are collecting money. Because it should be—
Lisa No we didn’t—
Jodi Huh?
Lisa No, we didn’t say you supported it. We said that you weren’t – not – you didn’t tell us to take it down which is what everyone else is saying.
Jodi Oh. Well, I don’t mind the site being there. But what I do mind is like that Jason is collecting money and that this corporation thing and that he’s promoting it as if something that I want – because I really don’t. I want the collection of money to stay within my family. And I think that if he really did support me he would just use all that traffic and energy and momentum that he’s building and just direct it toward the Appellate Fund, which is where it should be going to begin with. And remember when you and I were like first getting together with these ideas, it was more about how we can promote the Appellate Fund. But it seems like now it’s gone in a different direction. But, I just, that’s the only —
Lisa So if we collect money, are you saying that you don’t want it?
Jodi Yaah. No-no-no — I’m not saying that. I’m saying that I don’t want other people outside of my family to be accepting money on my behalf. Because it takes away from the fundraising that my family is trying to do for me,for one, and for two, with the Corporation, we don’t really know where that money is ultimately going to go, because it can go wherever the board members want it to go. And, as I told Jason, for example, if you guys vote to have an ice cream party with it, then you can. And he said that’s right. But with the Appellate Fund, it’s in the trust fund and irrevocable trust so you can’t have it go anywhere else. [unintelligible] trust it
Lisa Well, well — we’re not going to do that though.
Jodi Well, I know. But the point is that if you wanted to you could. If you want to reward your hard work with like a trip to Vegas you know, or something. If you [unintelligible] wanna or something—
Lisa No. I mean, but we’re not gonna do that though. And that’s why we have a board because, so, for that oversight.
Jodi Well, I know that’s true but I was just thinking if someone were on that for example and they everyone wants to vote to like going to cruise, for example. And then one persons like, “Hey that’s not right. This money is for Jodi’s appeals. And that’s not right.” And then people are mad and then people just have to vote that person off the board and then they can do what they want with money. That’s how it works. I’m not saying that’s going to happen but the problem that when people donate to a cause they believe in then, they wanna know where the moneys gonna go. But at this point they don’t know where it’s gonna go unless they donate to the trust. It can only go to there — to [unintelligle]
Lisa No but we have to [unintelligible] we, but we have to report our financials and where it’s going. So—
Jodi Yah.
Lisa Then I must be—
Jodi I haven’t [unintelligible] your bylaws but they’re, you know. I dunno — I just, I don’t feel, I don’t feel right with it. I don’t feel comfortable with it. I know you guys have worked really hard on it and I’m sorry it’s gotten this far, but—
Lisa So you don’t even want to look at the bylaws or — ?
Jodi Well, I don’t — really haven’t seen the bylaws. I, I honestly, I don’t want to be involved with it. Because I just feel it takes away from the efforts that my other friends and family have been trying to get the fund going to try to get me an attorney. Um, you know, I just—I feel like it’s taken away from that and that’s the problem. The other thing I’m uncomfortable with is that Jason has just done this without my consent. [unintelligible] “Hey you guys, Jodi’s not quite comfortable with this yet, but we’re trying to explain [unintelligible] to understand what’s going on and we’re doing [unintelligible]. [unintelligible] on there an lies. “Jodi supports us 100%.” And I haven’t. I’ve never said that. So the fact that he just lies about that makes me not trust him, you know? It’s like if you’re going to lie about that what else are you doing, you know? And then he registered the site in my name and I never said to register my name. And he puts Perryville’s physical address on there? That, that’s just, that
could get me into some, I dunno, that could potentially cause problems for me. So I know he took that off, but still, you know, it’s just, I think it’s just the fact that—I really wanted to support Jason. He has a lot of talent and everything, but I can’t. He [unintelligible] slams Pandora, he slams Maria, he slams SJ, he slams Ben, he slams Maria De La Rosa. I’m like, what?
Lisa No, but they all slammed us first though!
Jodi I know, but, I never said [unintelligible]—
Lisa They called us thieves and liars and stealing before [unintelligible]
Jodi [unintelligible] Well I dunno so much about what happened between him and Pandora and Maria and everything but he, he straight up just said a whole bunch of like, he dragged out records on people and humiliated them and I just, I dunno, it’s just. And then my art, like he—he doesn’t care about me. He slammed my art because he doesn’t like SJ. Like he still, like he so blinded by his dislike for SJ that he will throw my art under the bus just to get to SJ. He doesn’t care if it affects me. And he doesn’t care if affects my family and you know, their ability to travel to my trial. So, I dunno know, it’s just. I don’t — Everything says don’t trust Jason. Like, why was he so intent about having control over the money when my aunt started to — he, he coerced my aunt into giving her the password to the Paypal, giving him the password to my Paypal, which is weird, like, no one else needed that just to put it on the web site. You just need the code. But he wanted to be, he wanted more than that. Like every time he’s asking for more and more and more. And now he’s—
Lisa No. Well, that’s what I’m talkin’ about. I’m— Yer just getting all the wrong information. He wanted the password because he [unintelligible] to put, like a banner in there so it would look professional and—
Jodi I know, well—
Lisa I mean, everybody’s just twistin’ everything up.
Jodi Well, the problem though is that I told him, I told him this directly on the phone, the problem with you having that email is that now you get the email notifications and you’re not supposed to be getting them. And
[unintelligible]
Lisa Why though.
Jodi [unintelligible]
Lisa I know, but we fixed all that. We complied with everything you guys wanted. And then you still took it away.
So, I mean, we got everything straight before you took the domain away. — — — Are you still there?

Take it away if you please, oh beloved and much revered in house psychic.
Really, this is the first thing you make me do. You know I hate you right? Sigh. Fine, pass the Gravol and the Tylenol and lets get this shit show started.

Lisa, you fucking peon why do I even have to have this conversations with you right now? If you were working like you should be, I would not have to be doing this and could be thinking about new ways to stall the trial…..like leaking a three way phone conversation. Carry on. God you are stupid.

Anyway, I can’t let anybody think that I totally support a site that I totally support because it’s all about me,me,me because you guys are collecting money that might somehow end up in the Alexander’s hands due to that whole wrongful death thing. Assholes. I can’t believe you can even sue for that. That is why my Mormon god created irrevocable trusts. All money collections need to stay within my family because the tighter that particular box stays closed the less likely people are to figure out that the state has to pay for my appeals and shit. Appellate fund. I cannot believe they even went for that. Plus, I know you guys are making money off of me and I just will NOT have that. That money is mine. I murdered for it fair and square and I get to keep it. Fuck Son of Sam and fuck Juan Martinez. It’s mine.

For when I ultimately get released which is totally going to happen. I know they think this is just a penalty phase retrial, but I plan on retrying my entire case. I don’t care what Nurmi says, I can if I want too. Wait shit missed what this stupid bitch just said. Something about a banner? WTF? Anyway, you douches think you are going to make money off of my hard work and throw my art under a bus because it’s tracings of real art and you get my email notifications which is really a bad idea because of all the naked pics I have floating around out there. I don’t want you idiots to figure out who I really am. Like that would ever happen. I could cut off someone’s head in front of 20 of you and nobody would believe I did it, I am just that good. If it wasn’t for that goddamn Juan Martinez and his “evidence” I’d be out of here already. Jenny is still my friend, she’ll help me totally kick Juan’s ass this time. I hate that little bastard. How dare these people try and steal my murder money. Do they think I’m stupid. I’m Stabby Einstein bitch.

Whatever, I don’t need to talk to this moron anymore, like she understands anything that comes forth from my brilliant mind anyway. Bitch. Probably ugly too. I’m just gonna hang up and go admire myself in my stainless steel toilet or something. I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and……..I’m out. I still don’t think you pay me enough for this shit, but we both know I’ll be back. This is the in house Psychic going to try and drill a small hole in my head and bleach my brain. Back to you oh task master.

So there you have it kids. This is what Stabby was actually thinking while she was talking.


The Stabby Arias Book Club Selections

September 3, 2014

Pretty bored waiting for the new farce of a PENALTY PHASE RETRIAL- Arizona

Hi kiddies, it’s your favorite neighborhood Stabby hater, here for another installation of things I can write about while I wait until hell freezes over for the PENALTY PHASE RETRIAL to begin.
I got to thinking about our altruistic little Stabbykins and how she wants to help all those poor illiterate single language speaking singlehandedly ruining the planet with all of their un-recycled trash inmates. What a noble creature Stabby is. The whole book club thing is a stroke of genius. Not as genius as my idea for the Jeffrey Dahmer School of Culinary arts, but it’s right up there.

I think about things all the time. Deep, deep things. You know, like Einstein. I have come up with a selection of Books for the Stabby Arias Hail Mary If This Doesn’t Work I’m Screwed Book Club. Wholesome reads for all of the exemplary human beings that are totally being framed right now as we speak and they didn’t do it.

1. American Psycho. Believe it or not, this is NOT about Stabby. I myself was shocked.
2. How to infringe copyright for fun and profit
3. Setting up an irrevocable trust under questionable circumstances.
4. Screw Son of Sam.
5. Snow White and the seven abusive little pricks who all mysteriously died in their sleep.
6. The court pencil and Nurmi’s Chair have a very bad day.
7. How to successfully pretend to be a superior court judge
8. Pitbulls for dummies
9. Hair dye – It can make a difference
10.How to use twitter to your advantage
11.HLN can suck it
12.How I became a Ninja-not based on true events
13.Migraines-not just for work sick days anymore
14.How to successfully harass anyone.

I am sure there are many that I have yet to come up with, but that should give the Stabby Arias Hail Mary If This Doesn’t Work I’m Screwed Book club some reading material to start off with.

Stabby, feel free to contact me anytime for more suggestions cuz I know that your good buddy Donovan is an avid reader. Hi Donavan. When exactly am I getting sued by the way? Any firm date yet or is it still just take it down or blah blah blah.


The Only Rational Explanation is that Stabby is Satan

September 1, 2014

No she isn’t but the bitch scares me -Satan

Well kids, I bring you another installment from the second circle of hell that is Arizona. There have been developments. There have been motions for sanctions because our favorite pitbull has not been darted recently. And caught in the middle of this whole goddamn shitshow is a family who has absolutely nothing to do with any of this.

Stabby got permission to re-visit the crime scene which of course is no longer a crime scene because the house has been sold and totally remodeled. So, what the fuck is there to see, find, smell, whatever. The only purpose for this is to kill some more time (bad choice of words but it stays) and to maybe fuck with the family that dared to buy the home that she thought would someday be hers a little bit. That Judge Stephens allowed this just does things to my brain that make me want to try and cleanse it with drano.

Stabby also has a private investigator that the state has to pay for by the way, to try and find people that will corroborate her assertions of domestic violence. More about that in a minute. Maybe the P/I will find the ninja’s, grandpa’s missing gun, and the rope that never existed while he’s at it. Or maybe he will go down to home depot and just buy some. Now, to the domestic violence issues and the fucktards that will believe anything. As most of you know, I am a victim of domestic violence. I am quite literally covered in scars. I have had more broken bones than I care to list off. I have had a fractured skull and had a shotgun loaded with a sabot shoved in my face. I am a defacto domestic violence expert and Stabby was about as much a domestic violence victim as my cat kitty friend. She will however find someone, somewhere that is willing to lie and say they saw her covered in bruises or some other such bullshit; so pay attention or mighty Pitbull because you will want to know every single thing about where this witness came from and why after 6 years of extensive and exhaustive investigations that not one shred of domestic violence was ever found.

I feel so bad for the family that bought Travis’ house. They just want it to be their home, not the place where a terrible crime took place and I don’t blame them. I feel so bad for the Alexander family because they are going to have to listen to all the lies about their brother all over again. I feel bad for the state of Arizona because this should have been over with a long time ago.


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