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The Never Ending Saga of Stabby Fucking Einstein

July 6, 2018

Please Rise and Salute The Flag of the Great State of Arizona and then Salute Kirk Nurmi For His Testicles Finally Dropping.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IN THE COURT OF APPEALS STATE OF ARIZONA DIVISION ONE

STATE OF ARIZONA, No. 1 CA-CR 15-0302 Appellee, v. JODI ANN ARIAS, Appellant. Maricopa County Superior Court No. CR-2008-031021-001 DT

APPELLANT’S OPENING BRIEF

MARICOPA COUNTY PUBLIC DEFENDER

Deputy Public Defenders Downtown Justice Center 620 West Jackson, Suite 4015 Phoenix, Arizona 85003 Telephone (602) 506-7711 ACE@mail.maricopa.gov Attorneys for APPELLANT

Not a Judge Sherry Stephens and Totally Should be a Judge Kelly McFadden Presiding

Ladies and Gentlemen we are going to start with some off the record housekeeping matters. Firstly Stabby’s Pencil is still out on mental health leave so Stabby will be afforded a crayon. If anyone hears any shrieks of laughter up and down the hallway it is just Kirk Nurmi and it should be ignored. We get it Kirk and the neener neener was probably not necessary. The vet, a box of good boy treats and the tranquilizer gun have all been placed on stand by. Totally should be a Judge Kelly will be working most of the first part of what we are all sure is going to be an overly dramatic and way to long appeals process.

The Repellant er I mean Appellant has made several million assertions in her opening (good god is this really just the opening) brief which we will of course have to cover. Pretoria was polite enough to forward all unused puke buckets and they are located at the ends of the aisles for your convenience. As the law dictates you are allowed and encouraged to ask any questioned of the lying ho, sorry I mean appellant that you feel are pertinent. Okay I think we are ready to go so I will hand things off to Totally should be a judge Kelly.

Good afternoon everyone. I have been handed a note that the citizens of earth would like to just go ahead and apologize now that you have to be here. Thank you citizens, we accept your apology.

So lets deal with this shit. Firstly I am going to have to cover exactly what an appeals process entails.

For your edification : Appeal: A request to a higher court to review the lower court’s proceedings and outcome. The defendant argues that the lower court violated his or her rights in some way that warrants getting a new trial or a reduced sentence. Direct Appeal: Filed with the Arizona Court of Appeals. In death penalty cases, the direct appeal is filed with the Arizona Supreme Court. Opening Brief: A written document in which arguments are presented that the defendant’s conviction or sentence is improper and should be reversed.

What we are dealing with today believe it or not is just the opening brief. All 5 million pages of it. Seriously could she have crammed any more stuff in this thing? Jesus H Christ the only thing missing is the chorus from O Holy Night.

Since there is so much garbage to get through I am breaking it up into parts and this is what we are starting with. My answers to statements will be in italics.

STATEMENT OF THE CASE

1

The state indicted appellant, Jodi Ann Arias, for the murder of her boyfriend, T.A. (Instrument 1, hereinafter I.). The state charged her with first degree premeditated murder or in the alternative, felony murder. This is a factual statement that actually happened.

On October 31, 2008, the state made notice of its intention to seek the death penalty. (I. 32-33). On August 7, 2009, the court held a Chronis hearing and found that the state presented probable cause to support one aggravating factor: the crime was committed in an especially cruel manner. (ME 8-10-09). The parties could not settle after a settlement conference. (RT 7-5-11, pp. 2-58). They conducted a second settlement conference before the retrial, which was also unsuccessful. (ME 10-24-13). If this is part of her appeal you will have to excuse me while I bang my head off of the keyboard. aoehtaefhsd. Her idea of a settlement was 10 years for basically killing the man 3 times.

Stabby’s trial began December 10, 2012, with

jury selection. (RT 12-10-12, p. 12). The jury found Arias guilty of first degree murder on May 8, 2013. (RT 5-8-13, p. 11). The aggravation phase began May 15, 2013. (RT 5-15-13, p. 4). The state sought to prove one aggravator, the killing was done in an especially cruel manner.

 

, p. 9). At the conclusion of the aggravation phase, the jury found that the state proved this aggravating factor. \

Please note there may be a slight discrepancy in the cites to the record depending on whether one is referring to the electronic version of the transcripts or the hard copy of the transcripts.

 

2 The penalty phase began May 16, 2013. (RT 5-16-13, p. 53). It concluded on May 23, 2013, when the jury could not agree on life or death. (RT 5-23-13, p. 8). The court declared a mistrial. (I. 1154; RT 5-23-13, p. 10). The defense argued a Motion for Mistrial on May 20, 2013. (RT 5-20-13 #1, pp. 9-18). The court denied that motion. Because there was no reason for a mistrial.

, p. 18). The defense filed a Motion to Vacate the Aggravation Phase verdict pursuant to Rule 24.2. (I. 1174). The court denied that motion. (ME 8-9-13).

Arias’s retrial began September 29, 2014. Once again, the jury could not

agree on a sentence. (I. 2058; RT 3-5-15, p. 6). The court declared a mistrial.

The court sentenced Arias to natural life. (RT 4-13-15, p. 56). The parties stipulated to the amount of restitution. (ME 6-22-15). Arias filed a timely Notice of Appeal. (I. 2083). This Court has jurisdiction pursuant to Article 6, § 9 of the Arizona Constitution, and A.R.S. §§ 12-120.21 (A) (1), 13-4031 and 13-4033 (A).

3

FACTS (Oh this should be good)

This appeal is about Jodi Arias and T.A., whose lives were bound together by secrets. Arias grew up in northern California. (RT 2-4-13 #1, pp. 101-102; 116; 122). Stabby’s  parents abused her physically. (facts not in evidence)

, pp. 101; 104-108). She moved out when she was seventeen years old. (

, pp. 122-125). Arias left school and worked as a waitress. (

 

, pp. 122; 125). She supported herself. (when she wasn’t mooching off of whatever guy she had entranced with her slutty ways)

, pp. 125; RT 2-4-13 #2, p. 21). Arias found work waitressing at resorts in Crater Lake and Monterey. (RT 2-5-13, pp. 9; 20). She lived in Palm Desert, California for four years with her boyfriend, D.B., and was happy there.

, pp. 30; 39-41). Arias was a spiritual seeker, always interested in self-improvement. (facts so far out of evidence they may be circling jupitor)

, pp. 7-

8; 84). She became involved in “PPL,” Pre

-Paid Legal Services, a Pyramid scheme, lets just call a spade a spade here mmmkay.

, pp. 56; 61). She enjoyed the inspiring, motivational PPL functions. (

, pp. 75; 84). She met T.A. at a PPL function in Las Vegas in September of 2006. (

, pp. 62; 67). T.A. was an executive director of PPL. (

, p. 69). He approached Arias at a social function and introduced himself. (

, p. 68). They spent time together that weekend.

 

, pp. 70-74). She was his date at a formal banquet.

, pp. 70-74). She considered T.A. to be a new friend.

 

, pp. 97-100). After leaving Vegas, they talked on the phone every night.

, p. 106). By the weeks end stabby broke up with D.B.

, pp. 98-99). She wanted to start a family. (and hopefully at some point collect a bunch of spousal and child support)

, p. 99). D.B. did not want to get married. because he was a smart, smart man

, pp. 102-103). Arias and T.A. met the following weekend at their friends’ residence in California for a pyramid scheme event

, pp. 103-104). Once everyone was asleep, T.A. arrived at Arias

’s bedroom for a night time rendezvous. because of course he did, she was giving it away for fucks sake.

, p. 106). T.A. initiated sexual contact. Assuming facts not in evidence and my personal guess is someone named stabby initiated sexual contact

 

, p. 118). Arias knew that T.A. was Mormon. That is actually a true statement

, p. 90). He wore his temple garments during that sexual encounter. Assumes facts not in evidence and EWWWW

, p. 121). The next morning, they attended a Mormon church service together.

, p. 126). T.A. encouraged her to explore Mormonism.

, pp. 129-130). T.A. was a priest of the order Melchizedek and a respected church member. (RT 2-13-13, pp. 133-134). Arias believed T.A. was superior to her in all matters concerning religion. (I’m gonna give her this one.)

, p. 134). He gave her a copy of the Book of Mormon and sent missionaries to visit her at her home. (RT 2-5-13, p. 129). Two months after they met, T.A. baptized

Arias into the Mormon religion. (RT 2-6-13, pp. 25-26). After the baptism ceremony, the couple returned to Arias home where they had sex (assumes facts not in evidence)

, pp. 45-47). The Law of Chastity forbids sexual contact between unmarried persons. (RT 1-30-13, p. 96). T.A. instructed Arias that the church permitted sexual contact but not vaginal intercourse. (RT 2-6-13, p. 17). Arias trusted T.A. when he assured her that oral and anal sex between unmarried persons were acceptable. (so einstein is an idiot. Is that what we are going with?)

, pp. 20; 16-17). Eventually, the unmarried couple engaged in vaginal intercourse as well as other types of sexual behavior. How many fucking types are there we’ve covered anal, oral, vaginal, desserts, what’s missing maybe livestock?

, p. 99). Arias and T.A. became an exclusive couple in February of 2007

, p. 51). They met at PPL events and travelled together to visit Mormon historical sites.

, pp. 100; 122). Travelling together as an unmarried couple was frowned upon by Mormons. (RT 1-30-13, p. 24). T.A. assured her that the church approved of their sexual relationship. ( I CALL BULLSHIT ON THIS ENTIRE STATEMENT)

 

We will pick up with the rest of the opening salvo tomorrow. I need a tylenol and maybe a xanax or something.

RBMD peacing the fuck out

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Help Me And My Brother Just Got Home From The Movies And My Parents Have Been Shot…Nope That’s Not It…Oh Yeah The Hippies Did It. Part Four

January 2, 2018

Hello my lovelies.  You are going to want to hang on to your Pretoria puke buckets, I think much puking is going to be involved in this portion of our program.  Apparently absolute incredulousness can also make one spontaneously vomit.  You have been warned.

So, The CID decided they had enough to hold what is known as an article 32 hearing which is basically the army version of a grand jury.  Now I kid you not even a little when I say that the army had royally fucked up the crime scene.  if someone had turned loose a herd of free range cattle the result would have been about the same.  That being said, the army  is nothing if not scrupulously thorough about niggly little details that are apt to come back to bite one directly in the ass.  For example, it was a rainy night, like torrentially rainy.  So, the acid is groovy kill the pigs hippies were out wandering in the torrential downpour with a candle and all of them  (don’t forget the extra 3 that were killing the family while Jeffrey MacIhateyousofuckinghardpieceofshit was fighting for his life in the living room did not track one little tiny bit of water or mud into the house.  Nor did they track it in and clean it up cuz guess what?  The army checked for water wipe marks.  There weren’t any.  The article 32 was a bust and he was declared neither guilty or innocent just that there was insufficient evidence to proceed to court martial.

Freddy in the mean time was still on the Jeffrey is innocent band wagon, and then Dick Cavett happened.  Dick Cavett for those of you who didn’t ride dinosaurs to Sunday School was a late night talk show host.

Here is a linky to actual interview on Cavett 

Earlier in the day Freddy had told Jeffrey that he had a magazine that was willing to follow him around for several months and blow the whole thing wide open and Jeffrey asked about how much of his expenses they were willing to pay.  Freddy understandably was somewhat taken aback.   He had also been hounding Jeffy for a copy of he article 32 hearing and Jeffy was saying stupid shit like he’d get court martialed.  Which of course was bullshit, but of all the people on the entire planet Freddy Kassab was probably the last person on earth Jeffrey wanted to have a copy of that hearing.  For very good reason.

Jeffrey MacIamthebiggestcocksuckerthateverlived went on Dick Cavett and he um, exaggerated if by exaggerate you go with outright lied.  He said he had 23 potentially life threatening wounds, he was in intensive care, he had surgery blah blah blah.  Freddy remembers seeing him in the hospital the night it happened sitting up eating dinner with not so much as Mecurochrome on him.  Superficial scratches and a pneumothorax.  PS I hate that word.

Then Freddy got the article 32 transcripts and that my friends is when Freddy Kassab, who had stood before the army and said if he had another daughter he would want he same son in law, discovered that he had made a very grievous error in judgement.  HUGE.   Freddy Kassab was a man of singular purpose.  It had taken him far in life, no matter what he did, his total focus on whatever it was, was truly something to behold.  He first went through the article 32 transcripts and came up with a list of 123 statements that he knew to be outright lies.  Like this shit never, ever happened.  There were more statements that were less than believable at best, like the part where he said he did the dishes.  Both Freddy and Mildred had known Jeffrey since he was fourteen years old and both of them knew they had never seen him do a dish in all that time.

Freddy had a talk with Mildred, one she did not want to hear and promised her that if Jeffrey MacDickintheass had done it, he would not rest until he proved it and justice was done for Colette, Kimmie, and Kristen and baby male fetus.

His next stop was fort brag where he was allowed access to the apartment that had been sealed up for all this time due to the ongoing investigation and was greeted with the bloodstains and smells that never go away of his now long dead family.  He never waivered.  He went through every word Macdiefuckerdie had to say at the article 32 and came out now completely convinced that the son in law he had loved like his own child had slaughtered his daughter and her children.

In the living room in particular he saw the scope of Jeffrey’s lies.  There were some valentines atop a credenza standing up.  Freddy asked if they had been moved or stood back up or anything like that.  When it was confirmed that this was a negative he stamped his feet twice hard and the cards fell down.  Just from stamping his feet.  He proved to the army guys that it would have been impossible to see anything in the light of the living room.  Hair color, skin color, hell he couldn’t tell which CID officer was which in that light.

At the end of the walk through they asked Freddy if he was satisfied.  He said he was.  I’m satisfied that my son in law murdered my daughter and her children.  They explained to him that it was going to be an uphill battle to which Freddy Kassab, who was an extraordinary man told them he planned to live a long life and he had the patience of Job.  Turned out both were true.

Tomorrow tune in for blood evidence, crazy odds, and a pyjama top that just would not go away.

Reallybigmeandog peacing the fuck out.

PS keep the puke buckets handy.

 


If The Day Ever Comes Where I Snap And ALLEGEDLY Open Fire On Some Child Murdering Piece Of Shit, It Will Be Because Of The Word Allegedly.

October 21, 2017

 

 

Hello my lovelies.  Because I am Queen of all I survey and because the ruling monarch must at times do things for the people that they may not at the time realize is in their best interest, I have jumped into the deep end and am carrying on with what I consider my sacred trust from Gord Downie and doing my best to shed light on a very broken system.

Before we get into this and totally not because I am trying to put it off even for a second if I can let’s discuss the word allegedly.

Allegedly is an adverb.  An adverb, just in case any of my favorite readers are still out there is a word that modifies or qualifies a verb, adjective, determiner, another adverb etc.  If you need further help I recommend remedial English around grade 1 edition.

Anyway, allegedly is an adverb used to convey that something has taken place, or is the case although it has not yet been proven.  As an example.  DCFS  is allegedly the most ungodly, useless, disgusting government body that has ever been brought into existence.  CPS or child protective services along with everything else in life went PC and was changed to DCFS to allegedly reflect a more family friendly and less child-centric identity.  So, we are all good with allegedly right?  Because it is going to come up a lot in this particular blog.

DCFS is a broken thing, and while I realize that this series of blogs is about Gabriel and what happened to him, it happened to him largely in part because of DCFS so we are going to have to talk about DCFS for a bit.

It started out as a good idea in my opinion.  An outside institution that was set up to help children.  Nothing wrong with that because a LOT of children need help.  The problem is that A) the government runs the thing  B) there is a LOT of money involved once a child is in the system, it is in DCFS best interest to keep the child in the system for as long as humanly possible because there is just a fuckton of state and federal cash to be had by having said children in the system.  A child in the system brings upwards of $250000 per kid.   C) the powers that this government body have are far to overreaching D) they lie.  Yes, I said it, they lie.  Often and unfortunately that blade cuts both ways.  Children that should not have anything to do with DCFS are yanked from stable loving homes and put into the system, and children like Gabriel have their injuries downplayed, or just not accounted for, they don’t follow up, they don’t do a lot of things.  E) Actual workers who do give a shit about the children they are trying to help are ridden over by their supervisors, told what they can and cannot say in reports, are often discounted as being hypersensitive and told that things that they saw they didn’t see *in context* F) You cannot be a political organization and do social work.  Those two things are diametrically opposed.

Melinda Murphy, a 20 year veteran of the DCFS has gone rogue and has a lot to say.  Read it.  http://healthimpactnews.com/2015/la-county-dcfs-whistleblower-reveals-how-parents-are-losing-their-children-to-a-corrupt-system/

With all that being said, what in the fuck happened with Gabriel Fernandez.

The Los Angeles times unearthed some documents that show that a minimum of six separate complaints of abuse, neglect and brutality were made to the LA department of DCFS.  Six.  Six times DCFS visited Gabriel at home and six times they left him there. .  She said he often appeared at school battered.  Her word. Battered.  Battered should be A  thing you do to chicken, not a small boy.

Gabriel only made it to the ripe old age of 8 because he was taken in by his grandparents shortly after his birth in 2005. Nor was he the first run in that Mother Theresa had with DCFS.  Her oldest son suffered a head injury because he was allegedly not wearing a seatbelt during a car accident.  The following year a relative reported she was beating the boy and had stated she didn’t want him.  This was deemed unfounded.

In 2007, social workers received a complaint that Pearl did not feed one of her daughters and threatened to break her jaw when she cried.
The following year, Pearl was convicted of using a weapon in Texas and was sentenced to two weeks behind bars, according to court records.
In October of that year, relatives said Pearl suddenly decided that she loved and wanted  Gabriel and two siblings and took them from her parents where they had by all accounts been leading a healthy happy stress free life.    Emily Carranza, Gabriel’s cousin, said “it was for the welfare money.” Pearl told social workers she was concerned about the treatment of her son by relatives… um excuse me for a second.  ckocxjvkhlkbjc,jknkmlmlkkbmlgdpfksdfghjmk.l.,mnbgtgyhgtuyjhges. (head off of keyboard, sorry)  SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK MOTHER OF GOD WHAT THE FUCK.  Social workers found that credible?  I actually don’t know but they must have since she got them.

Days later, not even a week, but days later DCFS received a call from relatives alleging she was physically abusing all the children.  This was SUBSTANTIATED.  Instead of immediately returning them to people that loved them she was allowed to keep them and enter counseling.

His teacher called in October stating the boy was bruised about the face and hands. The next month she called and told them he had a busted lip and scratches that the boy had attributed to mother of the year.

In January she called because Gabriel’s face was covered in bruised dots.  He stated his mother had shot him in the face repeatedly with a BB gun.

When being interviewed Gabriel recanted his stories of abuse.  Want to know why.  I knew as soon as I saw that statement and I bet you do too, but I am going to tell you all anyway.  They always interviewed Gabriel while he was seated right beside good old mommy of the year.  Of course he recanted.  What must he have thought would happen if he told them the truth.  How could he known they would remove him or if they would remove him or if mommy would just have to promise with a cherry on top to be a nicer person and take some class and then the real fun could begin.  In an internal memo that was never supposed to see the light of this or any other day, workers were criticised for not removing Gabriel to a safe neutral place away from Godzilla to be interviewed.

In March his therapist found a note stating that Gabriel wanted to kill himself.  I just can’t imagine why?  The complaint was dismissed because the kid forgot to make an actual plan on his piece of paper on how he was going to do it and it was therefore not considered a suicide risk.  CHRIST ON A CRACKER HOW THE FUCK IS THIS THING THAT IS SO IMPORTANT SO FUCKING BROKEN?  HOW?  That month his whatever the fuck you want to call her at this point because mother isn’t the correct word, decided to end contact with the social workers, stating she didn’t need their help.  AGAIN HOW IN THE FUCK IS THAT A THING THAT CAN HAPPEN?

On May 22 firefighters were called to Gabriel’s hell, I mean house where he was found unresponsive.  He died two days later.  His siblings obviously also living in terror said they heard something happen but would not elaborate on that statement at that time.

Garrett Therolf is a name you don’t know.  He is the reporter that worked tirelessly to unearth this unholy mess against DCFS.  See reporters have a tendency to care when such an egregious wrong has been done.  They also have the tenacity of a rabid pitbull with a particularly nice bone.  So Garrett Therolf, my hat is off to you, you are one of the unsung hero’s in the world and god help us all, we need more.

We are going into the trial tomorrow everybody.  Sorry.

RBMD peacing the fuck out.

Sorry Dianna I meant to put this in earlier and forgot.   Everyone if you get a chance please check out @LAGuineaPigResc  they are a fantastic organization that helps rescue guinea pigs and place them in good homes.  My piggy friend died recently and I would love to get another, they make great pets.  They are friendly, cuddly and smart as all get out.  If you live in the area please check them out.

 

 

 


I Don’t Want the Brown Haired Thing Back Yet, You Keep it for Awhile

May 9, 2013

Working as a roadie for the Charlie Danial’s Band-Arizona

Everyone was obviously in an absolute state of stunned disbelief when the courtroom floor did not immediately open up and Stabby the Brown Haired thing and her two Minions of Evil were not sucked back down from whence they came.  Being the inquisitive little thing that I am, I immediately had my in house psychic reach Satan and we Skyped for a while.  When I asked him what the hell, his answer was directly to the point.  “Kelly” he started in that Baratone voice of his ” I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but uh, Bitch be crazy, you can keep her for now.”  “Oh and by the way that tour guide job still stands whenever you get down here.” I thanked him for the info and job offer, told him he needed to polish his horns and turned Skype off.

Jenny From the Cell Block actually braced herself for a moment as if preparing for the inevitable.  She looked absolutely gobsmacked that not even one single person on the Jury believed the totally unbelievable lie she had cooked up for her little Stabby Friend.  When the courtroom floor didn’t happen, her look of Yay I’m going home turned into an ever bigger FUCK MY LIFE then the one she had on her face last week.

Alfred E. Nurmi was on one of his 9 out of 10 days that he doesn’t like Stabby, because the man just did not have a fuck to give.  My in house Psychic says something along the lines of “whatever dude, can we all just get the fuck out of here now, my high is wearing off and I am in desperate need of a cheeseburger, was going on in his head.  Once again, thank you in house Psychic.

I have to admit my friends, I did immediately go to the Stabby Twitter feed and post the following.  “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Really stabby, you thought someone would believe that?  She blocked me.  HOW RUDE!! As a side note, if you are on twitter, repost this, I don’t want her little friend to be able to go anywhere on twitter and not see this.

Oh good I see Charlie Daniels and the Boys have shown up a quick run through of “Devil Went Down to Arizona”  Yeah he re-wrote it just for the occasion.  Everyone thank Charlie.  Be right back I have to move some sub woofers.

Holy, those things are huge.  Anyway, the vet and his ever-present tranquilizer gun just showed up.    There’s Esteban Flores with a whole bag full of good boy treats.  A large van just rolled up and Juan was led out on a catch pole, muzzled and with two separate collars on him.

Looks like we just have to wait for Stabby and the Funky Bunch to show up and we are good to go for today.

Ok, I’m off to make popcorn and take a Xanax. It a preemptive strike in case Jenny From the Cell Block or Alfred E. Nurmi have to actually speak today.

 

 

 

 

 

 


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