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What Does This Say About Us As A Society?

October 20, 2017

Hello my lovelies.  Your Queen of all I survey is going to be writing large portions of this blog is a completely blind rage, so please forgive the fact that my expletive filled postings are going to be extra expletive filled.  Think of it as a double stuffed oreo.

Gabriel Fernandez was an 8 year old little boy.  I say little because he was little.  He was murdered in May of 2013.  Murdered is probably the wrong choice of word here.  More like he was finally put out of the misery that comes with constant torture and abuse.  Death was something I am sure just as I am sure I have been tasked with writing this that he prayed for daily.  To just not be. To just not feel.

How bad was it?  Well, we are going to get to that once I muster the courage, but until that moment let us meet the players in this sick and twisted thing.  First there is mommy Fernandez.pigdogmotherfernandez

Obvious just from the picture mother Theresa here should already have several mother of the year awards lining her walls.

Pearl SINthia Fernandez said not a word as she walked into a hearing in 2014 until she found out that Mr. Fuckface pigdogfuckfaceaguirrefernandezseen here,  had decided that he wanted to continue towards a trial instead of making a plea deal.  This folks is natural selection at work in case you missed it.  Turn down plea deal which would take death penalty off of table or roll those dice aaaaaaaand, snake eyes, new roller comin’ out.

Once she found that out she lost her shit, cussing out Fuckface for not taking a plea deal and then shouting that HE killed her baby.  She apparently was baking cookies or some shit every single time fuckface did something to Gabriel. For eight months.  Such a good mom.

Here is another picture of the beautiful loving couple that could never do anything to harm a child.  You can almost see the nurture when you look at them can’t you.  Fuck me, I wouldn’t let either of them look after one of my dogs just from the pictures and these people had care and control of children.  Not just poor Gabriel, CHILDREN.gabrielpigdogmother

How bad was it?  Four, yes count them Four DCFS workers have been indicted by Judge George G. Lomeli who is having none of this shit and has decided that caseworkers Stefanie Rodriguez and Patricia Clement and supervisors Kevin Bom and Gregory Merritt ignored evidence of repeated abuse and minimized Gabriel’s injuries.  These precious little snowflakes have thus far been shielded from court pictures. I found one picture that I am pretty positive is them but since I can’t get anybody to confirm that for me yet I will hold off posting it.  If there is a god they will be spending some quality time in a very bad prison somewhere hopefully sooner rather than later.  That being said, because I am nothing if not an eternal pragmatist, I think they will probably get a slap on the wrist at best and won’t be able to work with kids anymore which is great for the kids, but doesn’t really teach these cumwads any type of lesson now does it.

judge lomeli

Judge Lomeli,  from everything I have gathered is an exceptional Judge.  He is no nonsense, moves his trials along and if we can think back to not a judge Stephens for a moment Judge Lomeli is basically the complete antithesis of that particular shit show.  I wonder if she still has a job?

The timeline is going to be a little fucky because the wheels of justice grind slowly and there is stuff all over the place, from the time Gabriel first started being abused until the plea deal that wonder mother wanted so bad went sideways to when the social workers were indicted to the trial which is going on now.  I will do my best to keep it as linear as possible.

That’s all for right now folks

RBMD peacing  the fuck out.

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The Philip Chism Trial Day 4: The Judge Got Mad Edition

November 22, 2015

Still on the borrowed computer that is older than dirt.

So, as I feared and predicted, the Judge was not amused in the slightest with the shenanigans of the pool cameraman. I do not know what exactly this particular idiot was thinking, but he fucked us for a live feed for the foreseeable future. I fucking hate this bullshit of let’s see how far across the line we can get. He didn’t just cross it, he pole vaulted across that fucker. Showing jurors faces, zooming in on the prosecutors notes, etc. Judge Lowy has  always been a huge proponent of cameras in the courtroom, he gives leeway if it is accidental, but this was so blatant that he pretty much lost his shit.  He did not say the cameras were banned for the remainder of the trial, but cameras are likely banned for the duration of the trial.  Maybe he will allow a different operator or something.

Mr. Pimentel, the Spanish speaking gentleman was back on the stand today.  His English is quite poor, but for the life of me I cannot understand how his supervisor Danny could possible confuse blue and blood, no matter how thick the accent. They just do not sound anything alike, in English or Spanish.  Danny apparently just gave him a hose and a key to turn the tap on.

Pimentel, doing his job, hosed down the floor and walls, then got a floor cleaning machine and then for good measure he used a mop and bucket.  Everything had cleaning solution in it so bye bye DNA.  In total the bathroom took about 45 minutes to clean and Pimental said that since his boss was not concerned, neither was he.  Let that sink in.  45 minutes to clean up all the blood in the girls bathroom at a high school.  A room roughly the size of my laundry room.  That my friends is a lot of blood.

Defense was up for cross examination and still asking some of the most mundane questions I have ever heard in a court room, which makes me wonder exactly what kind of fuckery they have up their slimy little sleeves.  First question was “have you ever seen so much blood there before?”  Think about that question for a moment. Is the defense trying to infer that blood in the bathroom in large quantities is a fairly regular occurrence?  Does he mean as opposed to say someone who has their period and decided to just let her rip on the floor? Is he just an idiot?  You decide. Pimental answered that nope, nuh uh, he had never seen that much blood in the bathroom before. The next question was “did you tell the prosecutor it looked like a slaughterhouse?” That was answered in the affirmative and just like that Pimental’s cross examination was over.

Former custodian Dan Marshall was next up on the prosecutors list of basically useless witnesses.  Just as an aside, if I ever get murdered in Mass.  Someone please move my body to an adjacent state.  Thanks.

Dan Marshall testified that he thought that Pimental was saying blue not blood and he thought a bunch of cleaner had been spilled. So instead of going to look for himself he just handed over a hose and a key and probably went back to watching internet porn or whatever had him so busy he couldn’t go see if maybe Pimental even needed a respirator or something with a bunch of industrial cleaner spilled all over the place. Once again the defense had no questions and Danny was excused.  Not for being a complete idiot, just from the stand.

Kelly King a forensic scientist with the state crime lab was then called by the prosecution. (I’m sorry, I’m in shock that they have a crime lab. Please give me a moment.)

Apparently, King was on site and as they were walking back a trainee noticed a toe with nail polish sticking out of the leaves.  King went back with a paramedic and uncovered the rest of Colleen.  The paramedic checked and said that she was deceased.  She was naked from the waist down and had been heavily beaten and raped.

King went to the bathroom and despite the cleaners best efforts to totally eradicate all the evidence, she found several blood stains on a wall and in the stall.

The prosecution has brought out round six hundred of the exhibits. First is a blood caked white glove, and then the other. Next was the note found saying I hate you all.  Then a sock and a yellow backpack with Jism’s identification on top of it. The backpack itself was stained with blood.  The rest of the parade of recovered clothing is brought out, both Jism’s and Colleen’s pants and underwear again. Jism’s blood stained jeans had the jury’s rapt attention.

Defense is now up. Let us see what asinine questions they ask this witness.  First question Osler asked was about the wounds.  They were very deep cuts was the reply. Jizzy perked up considerably once they started talking about his handy work.  He listened intently with a hint of a leer on his face.  Osler wants to know why there was such a small amount of blood found with the body.  That would be because she bled out in the bathroom and all over Jism you stupid, stupid person.  King didn’t say it, but you know she was thinking it.   There was a sidebar and when it was over there were a couple of questions about the tree branch that was used to violate Colleen some more and the defense released the witness.

Next on the stand was the paramedic who pronounced her pretty fucking dead.  No questions from the defense and he was done.

Now the prosecution started calling students. The first one up was the one I was waiting for; Emily.  Emily was one of the people that saw fuckwad rolling the recycle bin.  She was not supposed to be there, she was supposed to be at track practice but she had shin splints and instead she was seated at a picnic table doing homework when the murdering fuck wheeled on by.  Big man who likes to kill tiny little teachers was having a difficult time of it.  She watched him wrestle with the bin for about five minutes.  No questions from the defense because what the fuck could they possibly say with that print powder covered bin sitting prominently in the courtroom.

Last witness of the day was another student who was in Colleens class with Jackoff, I mean Jism that day. She stayed after school to get some help but ended up just drawing on the chalk board and talking with Colleen.  She wasn’t really listening to what they were talking about but said Jism seemed angry when Colleen left the room. She said before she left she told Ms. Ritzer what a great teacher she was and that seemed to piss the psychopath off.  She was the last person besides the fuckwad to see Colleen alive.

There was a sidebar and court was called for the day.

So, here are some things to ponder since lots of people are asking.  Jism definitely got blood on him, but I think he slit her throat from behind which is why his dominant hand was completely soaked in blood compared to the rest of him.  Once most of the arterial spray had subsided he spun her and did what he did and that is how the blood got on the shirts and pants.  The first pair of shoes was covered likely from a heavy rain of gravitational blood.  The second pair if you remember had only a couple of gravitational drops likely from when he was moving her.  I am also fairly certain this is not the first time the psycho has killed something or someone using a blade.  He was waaaaaay too prepared.  Scarily prepared. Like Ted Bundy prepared.

So, there you have it, Day 4, sorry for the delay.

RBMD Peacing the fuck out.

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The Really Big Mean Dog School Of Law Presents: If You’re Fucked And You Know It Plead Insanity

October 20, 2015

Hello Class, it’s me your law professor/Dean of fuckery/ queen of all I survey.  As you can see by the title, tonight’s class is on the insanity defense.

The insanity defense is always, ALWAYS used as a last resort.  We in the law profession (not really) call it the defense of last resort for a reason.  Unless you are a helmet wearing, window licking, roadkill kissing, dog fucking mess, it ain’t gonna work.  The defense just uses it because they are pretty much out of any other option. Well other then yup, he did it, throw him in with a couple of short eyes and lock the fuckin door.

The problem with the insanity defense as one of our astute readers pointed out is that we (the state) have to prove that he wasn’t insane AT THE TIME HE COMMITTED THE ATTROCITIES IN QUESTION.  His mental state now has little to no bearing unless of course he is displaying any of the above mentioned afflictions.

Before we get into the state of Mr. Jism’s mental capacity at the time, let us take a moment to question why there is no death penalty unless you happen to be a fuckin Boston Bomber.  Massachusetts saves the death penalty for acts of terrorism only.  I bet if somebody asked Colleen about terrorism before she died she’d vote for the fucking needle.

Anyway, getting back to Jism’s state of sanity at the time of the offense. He went to school armed with a box cutter, gloves, a ski mask and a change of clothing.   He is accused of attacking her in the restroom on the second floor of the high school at 3:30pm.  That time is important. It is important because most of the student body was gone.   He removed her body from the school in a recycling bin and dumped it out in the adjacent woods and disposed of the body. He took the time to rape her with a branch and then cover her with leaves and debris.  He robbed her of her cell phone, credit cards and panties.   He then went and saw a  movie and had some fast food for dinner.

Now, I don’t want to be a party pooper, but it seems to me that Jism went to school knowing full well that he was going to kill Colleen, he has the presence of mind to take extra clothes and get rid of his bloody ones, he covertly got her body out of the school in a recycling bin, her perpetuated more atrocities, he robbed her so he could presumably go to a movie and get some taco bell and he had the foresight to try and cover the body.

I don’t see any glass licking going on anywhere.  About the only part he fucked up in a well planned murder was he fucking got caught.  Therefore, I surmise this is just to kill three more weeks or so while his lawyers come up with the now patented his parents beat him with a wooden spoon and they did a lot of coke and shit while he was three or four.  I forget.

Class dismissed

RBMD peacing the fuck out.


The Victim’s Name Is Colleen Ritzer

October 18, 2015

Colleen Ritzer was born May 13 1989 in Massachusetts.  She was murdered by yet another entitled sick fuck piece of shit by the name of Philip Chism.  She was ripped from the world on October 23rd 2013.  She was whole years old.  Thankfully, the powers that be, due to the heinous nature of the murder have decided that jism will be tried as an adult.  Yeah I typo’d and it stays.

Naturally Jism has so far blamed Colleen for her own murder, stated that he didn’t do it, said he was coerced, confessed, had the confession tossed, was slated for opening arguments on the 20th of this month but now his wonderful flock of fucktard attorneys are going to throw the hail mary he is insane defense at the wall and see if it sticks.

Jism isn’t nuts, he’s just another garden variety psychopath basking in his 15 minutes of fame.  Bask away you piece of shit, prison is forever and the boys are going to just love you.

We now have a three week delay while the DA and defense throw some psychiatrists at each other to decide whether our precious little snowflake can aid in his own defense.

Just to recap, Jism stabbed his teacher16 times in the throat with a boxcutter, raped her at least twice, assaulted her with a stick and was found with her bloody credit cards and panties.

I already hate this piece of shit and I’m just getting started.  Can’t wait for trial.

Tomorrow we will be having a really big mean dog school of law class on insanity as a last resort.

Till then…RBMD peacing the fuck out


The Magical Thinking of Stabby Einstein. An Auntie Really Big Mean Dog Bedtime Story

September 7, 2014

Well, hello chirruns, pull up a chair and let Auntie really big mean dog tell you all a story about the Magical thinking of Stabby Einstein.

Once upon a time in the second circle of hell there lived a violent sociopath named Stabby Einstein. Now Stabby Einstein was what we like to call a special kind of fucked, both literally and figuratively. Ohhh look at me using big words. Sorry, I digress. Stabby Einstein was the smartest, prettiest, most talented person in her own head. She decided one day that with her powers of superior intellect and a hell of a good show she could pretty much get whatever it was that she wanted. Envisioning what she wanted she first came up with a dude old enough to be her Grand Da but hey she wanted a house and with her powers of magical thinking and some really good anal, poof a house magically appeared. She hadn’t quite figured out how to disappear Grand Da once the house appeared but hey she thought, maybe magical thinking and a really good show only works in forward.

With that firmly in mind she went forward. From one magical low paying job to another. Sometimes two at a time. How magical. Then she discovered pre-paid legal and she decided that with her Einstein like mind and her magical powers she should be rich in no time. Well, one cannot be rich if they don’t look the part, so she took her magical mortgage payment money and once again using her powers turned it into a pair of fake tits. My gosh Stabby girl she thought to herself, this magical thinking shit really works. I can have whatever I want. I just have to believe I can have it and it will be mine.

Stabby Einstein was invited to the ball at pre-paid legal but her evil Grand Da/ fuck buddy didn’t want her to go. Stabby was sad. She decided to go anyway. There she met her prince charming Travis. She was transfixed. I must have him she said with a wicked cackle and started magically thinking it so that it would happen. She turned her magical wonder holes into a relationship with Travis. Holy shit it worked again, and this time she had the extra added bonus of figuring out how to get rid of stuff she no longer wanted. Once Grand Da Brewer discovered that the magical holes he thought were his were being plugged up by someone else, he peaced the fuck out and good thing too because he might be buried with Jimmy Hoffa otherwise.

Stabby now having figured out most of the kinks (ha, I said kinks and it stays) in her magical thinking proceeded to lure Travis with promises of even more perverse sexual acts than previously promised. Bondage? Sure. Anal? Oh yes please. Insertions of various forms of candy in various holes? Absolutely. Blindfolds? Check. Farm animals? Not off the table. Because she knew even with her superior intellect she was never going to have Travis unless she magically put a spell on him via her magical fake tits and all of her orifices she decided it was pretty much anything goes.

Stabby’s magical thinking worked for a while. She was getting boned by a really hot dude on a regular basis and of course she was willing him to marry her. The problem was the magic wasn’t working this time. Stabby Einstein thought and thought. Ah ha she said one night (she was prone to having entire conversations with herself so this was actually not a big deal) it’s the religion thing. He actually seriously believes in his Mormon god, therefor I must magically become a Mormon and than surely he will marry me. She was very excited to tell Travis that she wanted to become a Mormon and she silently thought that magical underclothes could not hurt along with all the rest of her magic. She became Mormon and was magically transformed. Surely now her prince would marry her. It was however not to be. Travis had seen through the facade of Stabby Einstein and he wanted nothing to do with her. He realized he had only ever been interested in her because she had absolutely no qualms about doing ANYTHING in the bedroom and she was dumb enough to not realize that sex does not equal love. Price Travis wanted someone he could love and respect and Stabby Einstein was not that woman. He broke it off and Stabby was stunned. And mad. Don’t forget mad, it’s important later.

Travis felt so much lighter when he broke it off with her, but his dick had a mind of it’s own and it missed being stuffed into something on a regular basis. Sadly one night Travis decided that friends with benefits might not be a bad idea. It was. He realized it quickly and told Stabby Einstein that she had to go.

Stabby moved back to Yreka but she never ever ever stopped thinking about Prince Travis and the fact that even with her strongest magic she could not make this one thing so. It slowly began to eat at any semblance of sanity that was at this point resideing in her earthly body. Stabby started thinking that she had been done wrong by prince Travis and she slowly put her magical thinking into action one last time and hit upon a foolproof plan to get even with Prince Travis.

First, she magically made her Grand Da’s (her real one, not the one she was boning earlier in the story) .25 caliber handgun disappear. Next, Stabby Einstein planned a trip to see some dude. She then went to a rental car company and rented a car. She had it magically changed from red to white. She went to the Grand da she’d previously been boning and traded him a DVD player for a couple of gas cans. She was pleased with the way things were working out so far. Still, she needed a magical disguise. She turned her platinum hair magically brown and was on her way. She filled up the gas cans in California and just to be sure she had enough she stopped at Walmart and bought another can. She was now ready to enact her magical plan of revenge.

She drove to Travis’ house. Her cell phone magically stopped working so nobody could tell where she was until it magically turned back on later. She went to see Prince Travis one last time. Poor Prince Travis never saw what was coming. She was offering up free cooch and he was just a mortal man after all. They banged a couple of times and then she tricked him into the shower with talk of a photo shoot. As Prince Travis was in the shower two Ninja’s magically appeared and holy shit one of them had made Grand da Einsteins gun re-appear. The other Ninja had made a knife materialize. Who the fuck even knew that ninjas could do David Copperfield shit. Not this story teller.

Anyway, Stabby Einstein wasn’t mad at poor Prince Travis anymore, she did everything she could to save him but then the Ninjas got her. With a mighty burst of magical strength she bull dogged the female ninja and crawled over to Travis. Travis was only concerned for his true love Stabby Einstein and he told her to get out and get help because he couldn’t move and he wanted her to live. She was trying to escape when the Ninjas caught her. They argued about whether to kill Stabby or not and they decided to do it. Stabby started thinking magical thoughts like she had never thought before and her magic worked one last time and the gun refused to fire, so instead of using the knife or some other weapon, the ninja’s decided to let her go.

Stabby drove and drove and drove until she was in the desert. She had no recollection of how she got there or what had happened. She looked down and saw some blood on her hands and immediately wondered who she had murdered. She had no memory of Prince Travis, or the Ninja’s or anything. So badly was her memory damaged she called Prince Travis to see if he wanted to come visit her later in the year. She decided she might as well just carry on to her next hook up so she did. They got all touchy feely, they went out for dinner and then Stabby Einstein went back home to Yreka where she returned the rental car which had some weird Kool-Aid stain in it, but she magically thought again and the dude at the rent a car place cleaned it for her. What a nice man, maybe she’d thank you fuck him later.

After that she was magically arrested. The police who had absolutely no idea how magical thinking worked, refused to believe her about the Ninja’s and she rotted in jail till the day her trial started.


The Phone call that Rocked the World (not really but I couldn’t think of another title)

September 6, 2014

Crazy just asked for itself to be redefined-Arizona

Well kiddies, looks like Stabby Einstein really is the gift that keeps on giving. After serious and intense contract negotiations with my in house Psychic she is back (thank you jesus) and we all get to find out what stabby really meant during that totally not orchestrated or released on purpose phone recording.

First, a few interesting points. Three way calls are the big no no in Jail. BIG no no. And not the big no no that resides south of Stabby’s belt line. Also, Satan Skyped me earlier and he now wants a per diem every time his input is needed for something related to this trial. I think he’s trying to save up so he can peace the fuck out if Stabby actually gets the death penalty because apparently even the prince of darkness doesn’t want anything to do with that kind of crazy. He said something about Judas Iscariot and PolPot running the show in his absence so no worries, hell will still be looked after. Oh and apparently Caligula will be performing once a week. There are still seats up front just in case you are interested.

Anyway, here is a copy of what the phone call said, and then we are going to have our lovely, talented and totally appreciated in house psychic tell us what the conversation was really about. Did I thank Jesus yet for my in house psychic. God forbid I have to do these things myself. Also, I had to go to the first circle of hell which is the “stabby Arias is innocent” Bwhahahahaha, sorry I can never type that without laughing, website to get this, so….you’re welcome.

Jodi Lisa
Lisa Yes – hey Jodi
Jodi I thought you were at work. Hey, um—
Lisa Well, I’m at lunch right now
Jodi Oh, okay. Who was it that told me? Oh, Maria [Del La Rosa], she said that, um, someone had told her that you had said online last night that I was supportive of the site and I don’t want to give people that impression because I can’t support the site right now as long as you guys are collecting money. Because it should be—
Lisa No we didn’t—
Jodi Huh?
Lisa No, we didn’t say you supported it. We said that you weren’t – not – you didn’t tell us to take it down which is what everyone else is saying.
Jodi Oh. Well, I don’t mind the site being there. But what I do mind is like that Jason is collecting money and that this corporation thing and that he’s promoting it as if something that I want – because I really don’t. I want the collection of money to stay within my family. And I think that if he really did support me he would just use all that traffic and energy and momentum that he’s building and just direct it toward the Appellate Fund, which is where it should be going to begin with. And remember when you and I were like first getting together with these ideas, it was more about how we can promote the Appellate Fund. But it seems like now it’s gone in a different direction. But, I just, that’s the only —
Lisa So if we collect money, are you saying that you don’t want it?
Jodi Yaah. No-no-no — I’m not saying that. I’m saying that I don’t want other people outside of my family to be accepting money on my behalf. Because it takes away from the fundraising that my family is trying to do for me,for one, and for two, with the Corporation, we don’t really know where that money is ultimately going to go, because it can go wherever the board members want it to go. And, as I told Jason, for example, if you guys vote to have an ice cream party with it, then you can. And he said that’s right. But with the Appellate Fund, it’s in the trust fund and irrevocable trust so you can’t have it go anywhere else. [unintelligible] trust it
Lisa Well, well — we’re not going to do that though.
Jodi Well, I know. But the point is that if you wanted to you could. If you want to reward your hard work with like a trip to Vegas you know, or something. If you [unintelligible] wanna or something—
Lisa No. I mean, but we’re not gonna do that though. And that’s why we have a board because, so, for that oversight.
Jodi Well, I know that’s true but I was just thinking if someone were on that for example and they everyone wants to vote to like going to cruise, for example. And then one persons like, “Hey that’s not right. This money is for Jodi’s appeals. And that’s not right.” And then people are mad and then people just have to vote that person off the board and then they can do what they want with money. That’s how it works. I’m not saying that’s going to happen but the problem that when people donate to a cause they believe in then, they wanna know where the moneys gonna go. But at this point they don’t know where it’s gonna go unless they donate to the trust. It can only go to there — to [unintelligle]
Lisa No but we have to [unintelligible] we, but we have to report our financials and where it’s going. So—
Jodi Yah.
Lisa Then I must be—
Jodi I haven’t [unintelligible] your bylaws but they’re, you know. I dunno — I just, I don’t feel, I don’t feel right with it. I don’t feel comfortable with it. I know you guys have worked really hard on it and I’m sorry it’s gotten this far, but—
Lisa So you don’t even want to look at the bylaws or — ?
Jodi Well, I don’t — really haven’t seen the bylaws. I, I honestly, I don’t want to be involved with it. Because I just feel it takes away from the efforts that my other friends and family have been trying to get the fund going to try to get me an attorney. Um, you know, I just—I feel like it’s taken away from that and that’s the problem. The other thing I’m uncomfortable with is that Jason has just done this without my consent. [unintelligible] “Hey you guys, Jodi’s not quite comfortable with this yet, but we’re trying to explain [unintelligible] to understand what’s going on and we’re doing [unintelligible]. [unintelligible] on there an lies. “Jodi supports us 100%.” And I haven’t. I’ve never said that. So the fact that he just lies about that makes me not trust him, you know? It’s like if you’re going to lie about that what else are you doing, you know? And then he registered the site in my name and I never said to register my name. And he puts Perryville’s physical address on there? That, that’s just, that
could get me into some, I dunno, that could potentially cause problems for me. So I know he took that off, but still, you know, it’s just, I think it’s just the fact that—I really wanted to support Jason. He has a lot of talent and everything, but I can’t. He [unintelligible] slams Pandora, he slams Maria, he slams SJ, he slams Ben, he slams Maria De La Rosa. I’m like, what?
Lisa No, but they all slammed us first though!
Jodi I know, but, I never said [unintelligible]—
Lisa They called us thieves and liars and stealing before [unintelligible]
Jodi [unintelligible] Well I dunno so much about what happened between him and Pandora and Maria and everything but he, he straight up just said a whole bunch of like, he dragged out records on people and humiliated them and I just, I dunno, it’s just. And then my art, like he—he doesn’t care about me. He slammed my art because he doesn’t like SJ. Like he still, like he so blinded by his dislike for SJ that he will throw my art under the bus just to get to SJ. He doesn’t care if it affects me. And he doesn’t care if affects my family and you know, their ability to travel to my trial. So, I dunno know, it’s just. I don’t — Everything says don’t trust Jason. Like, why was he so intent about having control over the money when my aunt started to — he, he coerced my aunt into giving her the password to the Paypal, giving him the password to my Paypal, which is weird, like, no one else needed that just to put it on the web site. You just need the code. But he wanted to be, he wanted more than that. Like every time he’s asking for more and more and more. And now he’s—
Lisa No. Well, that’s what I’m talkin’ about. I’m— Yer just getting all the wrong information. He wanted the password because he [unintelligible] to put, like a banner in there so it would look professional and—
Jodi I know, well—
Lisa I mean, everybody’s just twistin’ everything up.
Jodi Well, the problem though is that I told him, I told him this directly on the phone, the problem with you having that email is that now you get the email notifications and you’re not supposed to be getting them. And
[unintelligible]
Lisa Why though.
Jodi [unintelligible]
Lisa I know, but we fixed all that. We complied with everything you guys wanted. And then you still took it away.
So, I mean, we got everything straight before you took the domain away. — — — Are you still there?

Take it away if you please, oh beloved and much revered in house psychic.
Really, this is the first thing you make me do. You know I hate you right? Sigh. Fine, pass the Gravol and the Tylenol and lets get this shit show started.

Lisa, you fucking peon why do I even have to have this conversations with you right now? If you were working like you should be, I would not have to be doing this and could be thinking about new ways to stall the trial…..like leaking a three way phone conversation. Carry on. God you are stupid.

Anyway, I can’t let anybody think that I totally support a site that I totally support because it’s all about me,me,me because you guys are collecting money that might somehow end up in the Alexander’s hands due to that whole wrongful death thing. Assholes. I can’t believe you can even sue for that. That is why my Mormon god created irrevocable trusts. All money collections need to stay within my family because the tighter that particular box stays closed the less likely people are to figure out that the state has to pay for my appeals and shit. Appellate fund. I cannot believe they even went for that. Plus, I know you guys are making money off of me and I just will NOT have that. That money is mine. I murdered for it fair and square and I get to keep it. Fuck Son of Sam and fuck Juan Martinez. It’s mine.

For when I ultimately get released which is totally going to happen. I know they think this is just a penalty phase retrial, but I plan on retrying my entire case. I don’t care what Nurmi says, I can if I want too. Wait shit missed what this stupid bitch just said. Something about a banner? WTF? Anyway, you douches think you are going to make money off of my hard work and throw my art under a bus because it’s tracings of real art and you get my email notifications which is really a bad idea because of all the naked pics I have floating around out there. I don’t want you idiots to figure out who I really am. Like that would ever happen. I could cut off someone’s head in front of 20 of you and nobody would believe I did it, I am just that good. If it wasn’t for that goddamn Juan Martinez and his “evidence” I’d be out of here already. Jenny is still my friend, she’ll help me totally kick Juan’s ass this time. I hate that little bastard. How dare these people try and steal my murder money. Do they think I’m stupid. I’m Stabby Einstein bitch.

Whatever, I don’t need to talk to this moron anymore, like she understands anything that comes forth from my brilliant mind anyway. Bitch. Probably ugly too. I’m just gonna hang up and go admire myself in my stainless steel toilet or something. I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and……..I’m out. I still don’t think you pay me enough for this shit, but we both know I’ll be back. This is the in house Psychic going to try and drill a small hole in my head and bleach my brain. Back to you oh task master.

So there you have it kids. This is what Stabby was actually thinking while she was talking.


Pitbulls Make Wonderful Courtroom Pets

May 2, 2013

Harpo, who dis man is, Arizona

If foghorn Leghorn and General Custer had a kid, it would be the dude on the let’s try and make all these nice people think these are not the droids they are looking for sur-rebuttal train. Aerosmith was present for a scathing rendition of “Train Kept Rollin’ which had the entire gallery on its feet.  The vet waited patiently as Conductor Stephens kept the minions shoveling coal and the train picked up speed.  Jenny from the Cell Block took a stab (yes, I said it and it stays) at something new today.  Boring the jury into submission just so they could get the hell out of there.  We spent an entire day talking about the Foghorn leghorn Jedi Masters credentials.  Where he went to school, how long he went to school, who he banged at school, how many bong hits he took at school, his favorite cafeteria food at school.  The fact that he NEVER talked about Stabby, or read a police report only came up when he stared straight into the gallery and did that Jedi thing with his hands and said “None of those facts are relevant” The only time we were actually sure he was alive was when he got onto the subject of Janeen DeMarte and her Diagnosis of BPD.  With a totally straight face he told Jenny from the cell block that he’s right, Janeen is wrong neener neener. It was a breathtaking display of testimony.

Alfred E. Nurmi spent a good deal of the day looking like he paid the vet to shoot a dart into his ass and Stabby stared at the jury like the death eater that she secretly is.  All we need now is he who shall not be named, Harry Potter and a wand dual and the circle of life will be complete.

Jenny from the Cell Block is going to lose points in the beauty part of the pageant of the insane due to the ever growing bald spot on her head.  Good thing she has all that poise and charm or she’d be out already.

Geffner actually managed to keep a straight face as he told the jury he determined Stabby didn’t lie or distort her answers on Dr. Demarte’s  psychological tests. He also said the tests did not indicate an aggressive, hostile, or violent personality, but rather a crushed flower in the throes of PTSD. The sympathy vote missed the whole thing as she snored through the testimony.

Geffner decided court would be a great place to practice his standup routine. This expert witness with eighthundredmillion years worth of experience couldn’t operate the touch screen computer and managed to spill water all over himself, the witness stand, the floor, the vet and conductor Stephens a couple of times.

The highlight of the entire routine however was when Geffner, who has a familiarity with brains, you know like I have a familiarity with nuclear fusion,  was asked to use his zero experience with autopsies to refute Medical Examiner Horne’s testimony about the gunshot coming last. The psychologist/standup comedian testified that in his inexperienced and totally untrained opinion, Travis could have turned into a zombie and totally continued to walk and stuff.  Then he took another bong hit and braced while the dog handler put the attack suit on him before they turned Juan loose.

Somebody had some extra raw steak at lunch because a completely foaming at the mouth Juan fairly leapt out of his chair and charged the obviously terrified Geffner.  He immediately crushed his non-existent credibility by informing the gallery that dudes testimony had been tossed as having absolutely no merit at several other trials where he’d been a witness.   Mortimer Snerd just smiled and giggled in what seemed to be an attempt to keep the obviously rabid pit-bull at bay.

Juan then to the surprise of absolutely no one anywhere, proceeded to lay the smack down of all smack downs on the ventriloquist dummy sitting on the stand about Mortimers absolutely no validity, uniformed thoughts on Travis’ gunshot wound. The smell of brimstone started to permeate the air and we all wondered for a moment if Jenny would be called back from whence she came due to her stunning FAIL at ever calling this witness.

That’s it for tonight folks.  I has had enough of this dog, pony, comedy routine, and Harry Potter movie for one night.

 


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