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Chris Piece of Shit Watts Is Going To Have a Trial

August 25, 2018

4th Circle of Hell currently making my way to the 5th Circle

Hello my lovelies.  It is me, pretend Judge, totally awesome fake lawyer (let’s be honest I am a better lawyer than most people that have passed the bar), dog lactation consultant, horse whisperer, author of the big book of words and as always Queen of all I Survey.

I come to you today to tell you that your queen has been very busy working on this whole family murdering bastard thing.  The entire day actually.  I have called in a few favors and the consensus  is that Chris Watts is going to trial.  He is going to argue diminished capacity (huge shock I know) but barring a last minute plea deal to spare that poor father who I will be very surprised if he does not take his own life, Chris is going to get what is coming to him.  Unfortunately it won’t be the electric chair with a metal suppository shoved up his ass.

Chris fuck face was having an affair as I am sure you are all aware by now.  He was also a complete control freak, so much so that he ordered his wife who had Lupus for Christ’s sake to have another baby.  She was understandably frightened, but as so many abused women do, she agreed.  A baby that will never be born.  Sadly, there are no laws on the books for babies that are not viable outside the mothers womb so he gets a freebee on that one.

I don’t know how many of you watched his press conference where he had the unmitigated gaul to tell the world that his family was everything to him and that the house was so empty without them and he just wanted them back safe.  Well, at least the part about the house being empty was true at least until his tart came over.

I have nothing but rage against this woman who was well aware he was married and chose to have a relationship with him anyway.  for all we know she is the one who set this all in motion with the “if you don’t leave your wife I won’t fuck you anymore.”  Oh I do hate me some home wreckers.  I hope she has an STI and I hope he gets it and I hope it’s the flesh eating variety.

So many ruined lives and so many lives no more.  Shananns father will never ever be the same I guarantee it.  I have never seen such raw emotion, such raw pain and I’ve been doing trials for a long, long time.  Fuckfaces family is in tatters and even they don’t believe him.  Their friends are wrecks.  The carnage in the wake of this is almost incomprehensible.

There is a rumor the tart is shopping around a book which I encourage you to NEVER EVER BUY BECAUSE IT IS BLOOD MONEY AND EVERYTHING IS GOING TO COME OUT IN THE WASH ANYWAY.  Don’t support this woman.

Chris thought originally he’d report them missing, wait the allotted amount of time, have them declared dead and collect the insurance.  Unfortunately his story was really stupid and it unraveled very quickly, hence plan B.  blame the wife.  A wife who was completely devoted to her family and her husband who she by all accounts genuinely loved.

The wheels of justice grind slowly my children so we probably have at least a year and and maybe more.  we are going to have to find something else to amuse ourselves with so pick a trial and I will write about it.  Give me something good.  Something with some bite, something we can all get into.

That is it for tonight

really Big Mean Dog Peacing the Fuck out

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The Stabby Einstein Penalty Phase Retrial- Garbage In Garbage Out Edition (thank you Jeffrey Gold)

December 16, 2014

 

If I lose this post again I’m just not fucking posting it- Arizona

Hai everybody. So, I just wrote and lost this blog. TWICE. We are having brown outs and for whatever reason my computer is not saving anygoddamnthing at the moment. I am not amused. But, I am dedicated if nothing else so I will try this one more time.

I have to give Nurmi some credit because he has pulled off a brilliant tactical move. He won’t say whether Stabby will or won’t continue to testify until he hears from the COA so Juan can’t make a motion to have her testimony stricken if she decides not to testify. And he did it just before he brought out the defenses next idiot for Hire Dr. Gefner. Otherwise known as the human ventriloquist dummy. Dr. Geffner of water spilling fame from the first trial. So whatever she said is still in the Jury’s minds, can’t be stricken and now we have some paid doofus to further pound whatever it was into their heads.

Jenny From the Cell Block is up on Direct and we are once again going through the entire life and times of Dr. Geffner. For those of you who missed the first time around, this is what happened: Harpo, who dis man is, Arizona

If foghorn Leghorn and General Custer had a kid, it would be the dude on the let’s try and make all these nice people think these are not the droids they are looking for sur-rebuttal train. Aerosmith was present for a scathing rendition of “Train Kept Rollin’ which had the entire gallery on its feet. The vet waited patiently as Conductor Stephens kept the minions shoveling coal and the train picked up speed. Jenny from the Cell Block took a stab (yes, I said it and it stays) at something new today. Boring the jury into submission just so they could get the hell out of there. We spent an entire day talking about the Foghorn leghorn Jedi Masters credentials. Where he went to school, how long he went to school, who he banged at school, how many bong hits he took at school, his favorite cafeteria food at school. The fact that he NEVER talked about Stabby, or read a police report only came up when he stared straight into the gallery and did that Jedi thing with his hands and said “None of those facts are relevant” The only time we were actually sure he was alive was when he got onto the subject of Janeen DeMarte and her Diagnosis of BPD. With a totally straight face he told Jenny from the cell block that he’s right, Janeen is wrong neener neener. It was a breathtaking display of testimony.

Alfred E. Nurmi spent a good deal of the day looking like he paid the vet to shoot a dart into his ass and Stabby stared at the jury like the death eater that she secretly is. All we need now is he who shall not be named, Harry Potter and a wand dual and the circle of life will be complete.

Jenny from the Cell Block is going to lose points in the beauty part of the pageant of the insane due to the ever growing bald spot on her head. Good thing she has all that poise and charm or she’d be out already.

Geffner actually managed to keep a straight face as he told the jury he determined Stabby didn’t lie or distort her answers on Dr. Demarte’s psychological tests. He also said the tests did not indicate an aggressive, hostile, or violent personality, but rather a crushed flower in the throes of PTSD. The sympathy vote missed the whole thing as she snored through the testimony.

Geffner decided court would be a great place to practice his standup routine. This expert witness with eighthundredmillion years worth of experience couldn’t operate the touch screen computer and managed to spill water all over himself, the witness stand, the floor, the vet and conductor Stephens a couple of times.

The highlight of the entire routine however was when Geffner, who has a familiarity with brains, you know like I have a familiarity with nuclear fusion, was asked to use his zero experience with autopsies to refute Medical Examiner Horne’s testimony about the gunshot coming last. The psychologist/standup comedian testified that in his inexperienced and totally untrained opinion, Travis could have turned into a zombie and totally continued to walk and stuff. Then he took another bong hit and braced while the dog handler put the attack suit on him before they turned Juan loose.

Somebody had some extra raw steak at lunch because a completely foaming at the mouth Juan fairly leapt out of his chair and charged the obviously terrified Geffner. He immediately crushed his non-existent credibility by informing the gallery that dudes testimony had been tossed as having absolutely no merit at several other trials where he’d been a witness. Mortimer Snerd just smiled and giggled in what seemed to be an attempt to keep the obviously rabid pit-bull at bay.

Juan then to the surprise of absolutely no one anywhere, proceeded to lay the smack down of all smack downs on the ventriloquist dummy sitting on the stand about Mortimers absolutely no validity, uniformed thoughts on Travis’ gunshot wound. The smell of brimstone started to permeate the air and we all wondered for a moment if Jenny would be called back from whence she came due to her stunning FAIL at ever calling this witness.

That was last time. Time has to be better right. He’s had practice now. He knows what to do. You would think that but no it was pretty much exactly the same.  Juan has already had to have two darts put into him because he got the illustrious Psychologist’s notes from the university of Malingering (thank you Stabby’s Pencil) for fun and profit at just past 11pm last night.  Geffner the human ventriloquist dummy is expected to be on the stand all week (oh goody) and Juan needs at least two days to interview him.  This time around Mortimer Snerd isn’t just going to talk about his interviews with Stabbykins he is also going to talk about every other experts interview with her which doesn’t sound quite right to me. Remind me to check on that.  He already has the Dr. Samuels I love you Stabbykins look on his face so she has obviously been communing with Satan again.  Since she doesn’t have a soul maybe she just traded him for some anal and a blowie?

Going over the MMPI2 that diagnosed her with borderline personality disorder and instead of arguing this time he is likely to agree, because agreeing means she has a mental problem and somebody on the Jury might go for that.

Stabby apparently reported lots of symptoms of trauma probably largely in part to things like killing a guy and then telling a bunch of bullshit that nobody believed and then being incarcerated. I’d be a little traumatized too.

The Jedi Master is now going over Stabby’s rather high score on Stabby being a psychopath. Bet they didn’t pay him to say that shit.  I got 5 that says that was said accidentally.  She also has major sexual issues to which the entire planet collectively said “No. Really?”

Since pretty much every time Stabby opens her mouth it is either self serving or an outright lie I would say most of what Geffner has to say is useless because if he hasn’t noticed she LIES.

He actually called the PTSD that she has from butchering a man a mitigating factor.  I shit you not he really honest to god said that.  He has however so far managed to not spill anything on himself so he is at least doing better that way.  Just as an aside the Jury isn’t taking any notes on the Psych testimony so whatever her super secret testimony was, it looks like they don’t really give a shit.

Mortimer Snerd admitted on the record that nobody knows what the fuck is going on in that psychotic little head of hers, it’s all just a guess.  ON THE RECORD.

That is it for today kids, but just think we have a whole week of this to look forward too.  Juan shredded him last time, I hope he brought the attack suit.

Have a great night. RBMD peacing the fuck out.

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