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The In House Psychic Has Finally Decided To Do Her Damn Job-Stabby’s Letter

May 30, 2015

Yeah, I know you can hear me bitch, you’re a psychic.

Hi everyone, it’s me Dean of Fuckery, Law Professor, Resident sarcasm expert and Queen of all I survey. We have had yet another contract dispute with my in house psychic; something about working conditions or some shit. Truthfully I just heard wah wah wah. Anyway, since she consulted a lawyer who informed her that a contract of indentured servitude is binding she better suck it up and write before I take away her TV time or something.

Check this out http://www.kimawhittemore.com/#!press/cnec it’s pretty cool that we are on an authors press site.

Oh, there seemed to be some confusion over the bad penny post, there was never a part two and I have no clue why the link wouldn’t work to the original. Seems to work now. Anyway without further interruption, the in house psychic brings you what Stabby really meant when she wrote that letter.

why do I always get stuck with the stabby shit? WHY? Why can’t I do a nice reading on Charles Manson or That dick that shot up the theatre. Do you hate me? FINE. Pass the Tylenol and the Pretoria puke bucket. You’re such a bitch. Yes I know you heard me I said it out loud.

4/25/2015

Hi everyone! I hope things suck as hard for all of you as they do for me at the moment because if I’m suffering, you should all be suffering. I’m getting settled in, I’m already somebody’s prison bitch. That is just how hot I am. The day I arrived, people threw rotten food at me professionally and efficiently. Good aim too. I got a used tampon in the face. My mom said I look like a serial killer in my DOC photo which made me laugh because we all know I never got the chance to be a serial killer… unless you count the missing animals around the neighborhood. After my photo shoot for life without parole monthly I was taken to CDU (cootie Detention Unit) and placed on “watch” (suicide watch, that is because we all know I might try and papercut myself to death, if it didn’t sting so damn much). After a week, I was brought over to Lumley. I was totally put in Debbie’s old cell. . My cell is blue because they think it will remind me of Travis but because I am a heartless bitch of course it won’t. I have a grey desk and shelving, unfinished concrete floor. It stinks like urine and hopelessness. This place is teaming with little animals for me to kill if I can just get my hands on them. Lots of different birds and prairie dogs ( at least that’s what everyone calls them). They have dog in their name and remind me of doggie boy so I plan on kicking one every chance I get. I saw one take off w/a chunk of bologna the other day! (Yep, there is bologna here!) I also saw some officers with poisonous pellets they said were for the prairie dogs, but guess who is skipping dinner tonight just in case.

I won’t go on too much about the food. It’s pretty gross but not quite as gross as before. Everyone says how awful the food at MCSO is because it fucking is.

I’m currently segregated while they toss the prison daily for shanks. They are up to 987. Some of them even have my name on them. How freaking cool is that. I’m a rockstar. Still, I’ve seen many familiar faces since arriving which is kind of a problem since they cannot deal with my superiority. Having been at Estrella for 6.5 years, I’ve seen many people go before me. They told everyone I was coming and how superior my intellect is so you can just imagine the welcome I got.

I’ve gotten some interesting feedback on my sentencing, most of it saying things like die you sloppy cooched whore. Jokes on them since I got life. In here. The general consensus (that I’m getting) is that people think I am a sick bitch for saying what I said. Well fuck them. One girl said I have “lady balls” of course that was Donovan so I don’t know if that counts. One guy(my dad actually) said what I said was “way overboard”. Well Dad, you can suck it. I’m sure it made some of my friends uncomfortable, and maybe even disgusted some of you. Well that was absolutely my intention, so Yay me. I have to say, I only wish I would have said MORE , not less. I could have given everyone nightmares for the next 5 years and I’d be in your heads for ever. I’m already as famous as Charles Manson. I owe my life to #17 and I sure hope that check clears. She earned it.

I had only intended to apologize and declare my own commitment to pay restitution. (Even though I’m the one that thought 2nd degree and 10 years was fair for slaughtering Travis so it’s not my fault there were two trials. My statement was not an appeal for leniency it was a heartfelt fuck you. God himself could have parted the heavens and commanded the judge to be lenient because hey in my world that could totally happen – she would have disobeyed him because she saw through my bullshit, which in retrospect pisses me off. I put on such a good show, how the hell did that dumb bitch see through it. So, after two trials with a prosecutor that I like to call corrupt because it makes me feel better about my useless legal team, then having to listen to more lies and distortions and facts from the TA camp at sentencing – well, my high tolerance for B.S. from anyone that isn’t me had simply reached its maximum capacity. I consulted with my legal team; they told me to shut the fuck up and stick to the script.

If you wrote a letter to the judge asking if there was a way around a unanimous vote for death fuck you. I’m looking at you dad. It’s probably not something one does very often. The judge took 10 minutes to read, what, almost 1 letter – which doesn’t include the 75 feet or so of travel time from the bench to chambers and back. Thank you all so much for being the gullible bitches that you are. I’m really not worthy but since you cannot seem to figure that out I’m just going with it. Your money is precious to me so dig deep for that appellate fund, or Costa Rica fund if I happen to escape. Either/or.

Stabby Einstein.

this is the in house psychic signing out and plotting ways to get out of my contract.  Excuse me I think I may have to throw up.

Ummm, thank you in house Psychic.  So there you have it kids, the letter stabby was thinking while she wrote the other one.

Have a spectacular evening.  RBMD peacing the fuck out!

EDIT:  I would just be an ignorant person if I did not acknowledge the outpouring of love and support over the last couple of months.  You have no idea how much your well wishes and thoughts and prayers meant to me.  Thank you for the emails, the e-cards and for just letting me know I was in your thoughts.  I am so happy to be back amongst the no kill shelter and writing again.  Thank you all from the bottom of my cold dead heart.  You all mean the world to me.

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The Stabby Arias Penalty Phase Retrial- Ohhhh Somebody Is Going To Hell Edition

February 2, 2015

Really, you don’t turn your phone off in court Cha Cha?

Todays post is brought to you by the letters S, I, and A.

Hai everybody. It’s me, your law professor/Dean of Fuckery/doctor of doctoring/sarcasm expert/researcher extraordinaire/Queen of the region of Mean. I spent the day taking notes. Notes, and notes and notes. I think I may have carpel tunnel syndrome (I don’t have documentation for that.) I learned a lot of things today. The most important things I learned today were to always keep the Pretoria puke bucket handy and that Alfred E. (who from now on will be referred to with whatever S,I or A word I can think of at that moment) is going to hell. Maybe 20 years from now, maybe he’ll get hit by an icecream truck getting a Mr. Softy, maybe his heart will explode at an all you can eat buffet. Whatever happens to Mr. Slimebag, he’s going to hell for what he did today.

I don’t want to get into a theological discussion about hell, maybe it exists, maybe it doesn’t, maybe it is in our own heads. Just mark my words when I tell you that the universe does not take kindly to what happened in court today. I do not as a general rule offend easily. I have an extraordinary ability to see everything from the other persons point of view as well as my own. It takes something major to offend me. My feelings get hurt, I get angry, I get maudlin, but I do not get offended. Until today. The remainder of the 4 idiots of the apocalypse can save him a seat if they get there first. And no, before this little bit of writing gets taken out of context I’m not threatening anyone. Wishful thinking, oh you bet, but I’m not making any threats.

So ChaCha forgot that silent is an option on her phone in court today and this happened. At least we all know what her ringtone is now…omglolroflmao.

Bishop Vernon Parker was called to the stand. Sexual deviant attorney was up because there was sex stuff to be discussed. He started out asking Bishop Parker about his responsibilities and if his position is prominent and he is looked up to. Bishop Parker, who is in his late 60’s early 70’s according to two separate sources (those things you are supposed to have when you make statements of fact) seemed uncomfortable on the stand. Alfred E. Asshat asked about what the role of a Bishop was and he dripped sarcasm doing so. And I was offended for the first time today. Alfred. E Isadick continued to hammer at the Bishop about the fact that people look up to him. The Bishop answered very politely that his role was to help guide people and not to receive admiration. Alfred E. Analwart was being aggressive to the point where the jury noticed when he asked about temple worthiness and what kind of disciplines are handed down. He then asked the Bishop, THE BISHOP, if he was an honest man. I heard a hundred people collectively gasp in their heads. The Bishop still with his quiet dignity answered yes. Alfred. E sickerthanshit jumped all over that answer with why the Bishop felt a need to bring an attorney with him. That of course was answered on Wednesday if you recall. It was because certain questions regarding parish people cannot be answered and the lawyer was there on the off chance that the Bishop wasn’t sure. He is trying to discredit the Bishop simply because he has an attorney there, and by the looks of things it is going over like a lead balloon. The Jury is completely stone faced. Alfred E. Ick asked if a sinner can baptize someone. The Bishop answered yes if they lied their way through. There is very little note taking during the blatant fuckery going on at this particular moment in time. Asshole asked if someone without a temple recommend could perform a baptism. The Bishop said yes in a church just not in a temple as long as the Bishop approves following a brief interview.

Alfred E. Shithead asked the Bishop if he recalled Travis lived with him for 6-9 months. The Bishop calmly says he remembers saying that but that he corrected his statement if Alfred E remembers that. Alfred. E almost yelled “Did Mr. Martinez tell you to say that?” That would be the moment Juan busted his muzzle, snapped the chain holding him to the prosecution table, ate the dart the vet deployed and roared OBJECTION!! Alfred E. Idiot jumped backwards and straight up about 6 feet and decided that now would be a good time to change the line of questioning. And maybe his depends. Moving on to the computer he said was it located in the living room. The raging pitbull sat down and one of the bailiffs tried distracting him with his favorite nurmi chew toy. The Bishop confirmed it was in the living room and anyone could use it. Alfred E. Asshat says the Bishop can’t keep his stories straight about who slept there to which the pitbull once again reared his mighty head and roared objection. Not a Judge Stephens sustained it in record time.

And that would be when the Macarena busted out in court. And Cha Cha took the call. IN COURT.

Alfred E. Scumbag is being a complete and total dick to the Bishop and this may not be the witness to act like that with. Just sayin’. Bishop Parker said that everyone suspected that it was Jake that was responsible for the pop-ups on the computer. Alfred E is actually yelling, YELLING at Bishop Parker to be honest. Juan is fighting hard to protect the Bishop and as it turns out despite a bit of confusions as to dates the Bishop remained completely adamant that Travis never used his computer. You have to remember that this is an old man, this all happened 14 years ago, and he had no idea that something as innocent as computer usage should be committed to memory. Wonder if Alfred E. can remember what he ate at sizzler 14 years ago. The Jury still looks very disapproving. Then Alfred E. brought out the stuff for which I hope that he burns in hell for. Alfred. E spent a great deal of time asking things and then when the Bishop started to answer he would bark I have no question pending. That would be out of the Juan Martinez handbook. They do say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery right?

All aboard the sex train because that is what some low level mediocre sex crimes specialist does. Conductor shithead put on his conductor hat and proceeded to try and give the Bishop a heart attack. He proceeded to ram home (sorry) every act of sexual deviance that was ever performed by Stabby and Travis. He went into lurid and uncalled for detail. He talked about anal, oral, and vaginal penetration. Facials, ass poundings, the sex tape, and when he was done and he Bishop was the color of slightly off cottage cheese he sweetly asked if those would be considered a no no in the Mormon Church. The Bishop answered. How about anal ignorant fuck continued. Is that less of a transgression? the Bishop answered that a sexual transgression is a sexual transgression, which of course Alfred E. already knew. If someone is having sex, does that make them less desirable as a partner. The Bishop answers that he can’t answer that. The Bishop by now is very obviously uncomfortable.

Is Deanna Reid married with Children was the next question, which of course was to allude that because she had sex she was not suitable marriage material. The Bishop answered that she was not.

Asshole E. then went back to Travis and Stabby having sex and the type of sex they were having. He wants to know what the Bishop would have done. The Bishop said that they would have had to discuss it and he would decide what to do. He is trying to get the Bishop to say that Travis should have been disciplined more harshly because he had more transgressions. the Bishop said probation could have happened which means he couldn’t give message or receive sacrament or could be ex communicated.

With that Juan was up. And by up I mean he was completely beside himself angry.

Juan brings of the defense deposition of the Bishop and we have an objection and immediate sidebar. The objectomatic made a very strange almost screechy noise when it deployed. Apparently somebody doesn’t want the depo entered into evidence. The defense was over ruled and Juan continued. He began his trademark pace. was the prosecution present at this deposition. The Bishop said no. Who was present at the deposition? Stabby, Jenny, Alfred E. the Bishop and his attorney. Stabby is looking sicker and sicker by the moment. A migraine may be coming on any second now.

Nurmi doesn’t want the exhibit admitted to which not a Judge Stephens said tough tittie and it went into evidence. Juan, who was not at the deposition reads the transcript. It says the Bishop was asked if his story changed. Juan, still pacing said you were asked over and over if having your lawyer present caused you to change your story at the deposition. Juan smacks it up on the overhead and isadick objects like Juan just smashed a frosted chocolate cake. After the sidebar which Juan won we went back to the overhead. Question: has anyone within your church advised you to hold back information. answer NO. Juan moved quickly to another exhibit and of course there is another objection and sidebar. (is there free food up there or something?) Again Alfred E. Analwart is overruled and deposition two is smacked up onto the overhead like Juan would like to beat it to death. Question – Does the name Marc McFuckstick’s brides name ring a bell. Answer by Bishop Parker – yes. Who is she. answer: She moved in after Travis moved out.

Juan moved away from the overhead and paced back and forth. He addressed the Bishop. Was Stabby as guilty of serial transgressions as Travis was? Do the same rules apply? Yes. The affidavit from Marc McFuckface said that he arranged for his soon to be wife to live with the Bishop. The bishop said no, the girls father made those arrangements NOT Marc.

Juan next took the interview between the defense and the Bishop and shook it in his steel trap jaws until it was in fifty million pieces, ascertaining that the Bishop was not being dishonest, the defense failed to ask specific questions. Good old Alfred E is objecting to everything and being shot down in flames.

Juan moved to admit and email between Travis and Deanna and the objectomatic finally gave it up. Overuse will kill a spring loaded seat really fast apparently. And we have sidebar 15 or so for the day. Once again the objection appeared to be overruled since Juan didn’t change gear as is his way when an objection doesn’t go his way. There was a question asked on the deposition about Travis emailing Deanna from the Bishops home computer. The Bishop stated that Travis went to friends houses to email Deanna. No wonder the defense didn’t want that in the record. Kind of undermines the whole Travis used the computer thing.

A recess was called and all the main players trooped into chambers. Eventually they came back, nobody knows why they were there. Anybody want to play 20 guesses. I was hoping the finally just gave it up, but apparently not.

Juan who had actually eaten one of the vets darts was definitely not feeling the effects as he tore into some email between the Bishop and Marc McFullofshit- Nurmi is objecting to this because of time zones. YUP you read that correctly. Don’t even ask me, I just report this shit.

The Bishop said that Marc was good with computers. He also emphatically stated that Marc Mcliarliarpantsonfire were not friends, did not hang out and wasn’t sure that they even knew each other. Turns out the Bishop never ever, ever saw Deanna with Marc and that Travis and Linda never hid their relationship from anybody. They were extremely open about it. At that point Stabby looked like she would be very happy if the earth would open up and just take her home to Satan now.

There were some Jury Questions;

Is the person committing a sexual transgression worthy of being baptized into the church.

Is there disciplinary action taken against anyone that is perceived to have put into question the integrity of the church

Were any records of people kept in your home? NO

did the church track who lived there? NO

Do people living in home sign an agreement? NO

Would other people in the church be assigned a lawyer to protect the integrity of the church? depends on the position.

And with that Court adjourned until 10 am tomorrow.

Have a great night everyone
RBMD peacing the fuck out.


And That’s When The Pitbull Slipped His Collar.

January 22, 2015

Guess we are all going to find out what happens when the goodboy treats run out – Arizona

Hai!! I am still sick, but I can’t not write anymore so here we go.

For everybody that is asking why affidavits are being allowed in place of actual people, the simple answer is it covers the NOT A JUDGES ASS.  The long answer is that hearsay, which is technically what this is, cannot be used in court except under certain circumstances.  Technically the ME’s reports are hearsay.  True story.  Most expert witnesses could be considered hearsay, hence the exception to the rule.  NOT A JUDGE has decided to allow the affidavits to help support the experts position.  It’s bullshit and an improper reading of the law as far as I am concerned.  However, Juan did not file any motions to disallow it, so he must not care.

Court continued today down the lets see if we can Kill Travis one more time trail and Marc McFuckstick’s  or as he is called in court “Witness 1’s” affidavit was used to allegedly confirm the pedophilia and that Travis had been abusive to Deanna Reid and Marc McFuckstick had witnessed it.

For the eleventy billionth time we got to go over the May emails.  I was shocked to learn that those have still not magically changed form. They are exactly the same.  Geffner says Stabby said in her journal that it was the pattern to get upset, make up and get upset again.  So…They argued and made up. Just like every other couple on the planet. She also tells Geffner that SHE recognized the cycle of abuse.   Jenny from the Cell Block brought up that in March of 07 Travis forcefully grabbed Stabby’s wrist and Stabbykins did not report this to the psychologist as abuse.  Aaaand we have a sidebar. Juan is up and he is not amused.  Annnnnd we’re back.  Looks like it was overruled since Geffner was allowed to continue that it would not be unusual for Stabby not to think of that as abusive.  In October of 07 Stabby alleged that Travis pushed her around.  Then in January of 2008 he allegedly asked her for $250 dollars, body slammed her, kicked her in the ribs and hurts her finger.  (oh for fucks sakes I remember why I was so damn mad yesterday now.) You know what.  Fuck this.  I’m not delivering a blow by blow of what that lying bitch said unless it is really important.  Lets just say that Geffner spent a long time corroborating her testimony using Marc McFucksticks affidavit.  He also said that she gets migraines from her issues, has a distrust of others and has depression.  He also pulled out the PTSD card again and said that he cannot rule out Bi polar disorder tests and his own observations point to it.  BARF!!

AND THAT IS WHEN THE PITBULL SLIPPED HIS COLLAR!!

  Juan asks Geffner if he remembers the affidavits and says yes. He is seething already and he has only spoken one sentence. Next he started talking about how Marc McFuckstick didn’t want to testify in court. He snarls out this is something you would consider as part of the puzzle. Geffner answers in the affirmative and trembles slightly. Detective Flores is in the background saying several prayers that somebody can find a case of goodboy treats or the vet with the tranquilizer darts. Neither seemed to be forthcoming however and Juan was quickly amping up to a full roar. He snarled out did you consider this when he said Travis admitted to the child porn? Next he asked if someone that worked for Geffner interviewed Marc McFuckstick? Geffner said yes. Juan who is now pacing like a lion in a very small cage roars at Geffner that there were three pages of notes from your associate and in them Fuckface McBullshit told a different story. And BAM!! Faster than anyone could have anticipated the pitbull had ripped apart lie 1. Not only did he rip it apart, turns out that Pigdog McVomit is actually the pedophile. I’ll be filing that away for after this is over. Anybody know what the pedophile laws are like in NZ? He did admit in an affidavit that he was the one looking at them. Just sayin’. Geffner was visibly shaken but he did admit that the notes were true and accurate.

Next the snapping and snarling pitbull asked Dr. Geffner (how is this man a Dr. of anything?) if he even interviewed Deanna Reid. Geffner shakily admitted that he had not. So, expect Deanna on the rebuttal train and I’m betting she is gonna be mad. Juan is pacing in ever shortening lines and his snarl is ever present. He yelled at Geffner to put the notes down while he is being questions. Juan was so mad he forgot himself and said Douchebag McDouchy’s name in court. And then he said crap. I almost fainted when Nurmi did not immediately whip out a motion form and have ChaCha rush it over to the court house. Don’t worry though, his record stands. He filed it right after court.

Apparently Douchbag McFuckstick is a little less than intelligent than Einstein because in his original statement, the dates he said he SAW Travis assault Deanna she was in Costa Rica. The DT caught it in time to get him to send an amendment and those dates didn’t work either. I peed a little as the pitbull very succinctly put the smack down on lie number 2.

Now we are talking about the day Stabby says she caught Travis with the childporn. Remember how she said it was photos of young boys in their underwear and when she came in he dropped them and they floated to her feet? Please remember that, it’s about to be important. Juan asked if a Female psychologist interviewed Stabby in 2010 and it made statements about the masturbation? Geffner affably said yes. Juan then snarled was that an accurate statement taken down by the psychologist? Geffner is thick enough that he didn’t sense the smackdown that was about to commence and he once again happily answered yes. Poor man. Juan roars Note from psychologist #1 Child porn pictures of little boys…she walked in on him viewing this on the INTERNET. Geffner was even nice enough o make an un-redacted not about it. “I thought he was looking at printed pictures?” The only answer Geffner had was those two statements contradict each other. And Stabby lie infinity plus 3 came tumbling down. And with that we saw Juan’s ears perked up as Detective Flores opened the box of good boy treats. The pitbull snapped one out of the air as he made his way back to the prosecution table with a very satisfied look on his face! And we are in recess until 9:15 tomorrow.

Everyone now please stand, face Arizona and clap for Juan Martinez.

See you tomorrow lovelies
RBMD peacing the fuck out!!


The Stabby Einstein Penalty Phase Whatever the Fuck This Is Part Nine Thousand Four Hundred and Seventy Five

January 9, 2015

The IRS people are very nice. They seem to like it a lot when you rat people out. Especially when you have proof in writing.

Hai my loyal subjects. Your Queen, Law Professor/Dean of Fuckery/Professor of Economics/Resident Sarcasm Expert and all around pissed off bitch right at the moment has had a very busy couple of days.  First. If you have donated and I have not sent you a thank you I sincerely apologize. It has truly been pandemonium around here the last little bit. I truly appreciate that you took the time to donate to my not freezing to death.  It means a great deal to me.  Second. I report all of my earnings through donations just to nip that little thing in the bud.

Janet Cook, a friend of mine was attacked viciously by the wanna be anything other than what it is PV. Yet more scurrilous bullshit that has no basis in reality what so ever. Janet Cook is one of many, Stabby’s Pencil, myself, Jen wood, Beth Karas, Dave Erickson, Troy Hayden, Jeff Gold, Juan Martinez, Esteban Flores, Pesky Varmint and the list goes on and on and on.  Now lets get to the fuckery that is the never ending trial so that Alfred E. can purchase a small island somewhere when this is over all paid for by the nice folks in Arizona.

Alfred E. went to the supreme court. The supreme fucking court in an attempt to put some more dollars in the coffers, I mean to save poor stabbykins from having herself outted for whatever utter garbage she most recently spewed. Can’t wait to read it and I am still betting she said her Daddy diddled her when she was a kid. Anybody want to take that bet? I can’t believe that Alfred E. thought that Stabby was so important that the Supreme Court would even entertain hearing this bullshit and I was right. The supreme court has way bigger fish to fry than Stabby not wanting the world to know what she said. Poor poor muffin. According to my source, the transcripts should be ready by Tuesday at the latest. All four hundred fucking pages of them. Testimony that was used to set up for the paid witnesses that should be ashamed of themselves for even being there. And isn’t it funny that Geffner has no problem testifying in public, Dr. Sexpert also had not problem testifying in public. This leads me to believe that any remaining testimony is a bunch of bigger lies than the ones before. I am quite frankly disgusted with the whole entire thing. A man is dead. I don’t give a flying fuck if there was porn on his computer. Do you? As Dave Erickson said, can we all just agree that there is porn on the computers of all men over the age of thirty and move on? Was there child porn? NOPE. Was there animal porn? NOPE. and even if there was, does it matter? One has nothing to do with the other. And what everyone forgets is that porn or no porn, according to Stabby, who never ever lies, it was not the porn, but a dropped camera that started the fight that never fucking happened. What started that fight was the fact that he would not capitulate and take her to Cancun.

Has anyone given any thought to those receipts from Walmart other than the gas can? Two bottles of sunscreen. Now with the new rules for flying liquid can only be in a certain size and guess what, those two bottles of sunscreen were the size that one is required to have to take on an airplane. Why would Stabby not just buy one big bottle of sunscreen which would have been cheaper since she was saving all her pennies if she was just using it for around California or Arizona or whatever? That has bugged me for a really long time and now I have my answer. Same thing with the facial cleanser. Two small containers when it would have been cheaper to buy one big one. She needed the smaller sizes to meet flight requirements. The one that was supposed to take her to Cancun. Now of course this is speculation, but it is a hell of a theory. Here is the receipt. receipt stabby

Stabby went to Travis’s house to try and convince him that the sex was worth taking her to Cancun. Travis being a dude, appreciated the sex but had not intention of taking a complete fucking whore dog skank to Cancun. I think that she went prepared in case he said not and we all know the aftermath.

Stabby is running out of options rather quickly.  I guess that whole home for Christmas thing didn’t work out. Why don’t we shoot for Easter now, because you know she is going to be freed any fucking day now.

I have another shocker for all you tinfoil hat wearing fucktards. If there has been misconduct in this case, cha cha and Alfred E are leading the parade. So, from me to all of you Stabbyite idiots, eat a fucking dick in your goddesses honor.

RBMD Peacing the Fuck Out!  At least for now. I may be back later with more.

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The Magical Thinking of Stabby Einstein. An Auntie Really Big Mean Dog Bedtime Story

September 7, 2014

Well, hello chirruns, pull up a chair and let Auntie really big mean dog tell you all a story about the Magical thinking of Stabby Einstein.

Once upon a time in the second circle of hell there lived a violent sociopath named Stabby Einstein. Now Stabby Einstein was what we like to call a special kind of fucked, both literally and figuratively. Ohhh look at me using big words. Sorry, I digress. Stabby Einstein was the smartest, prettiest, most talented person in her own head. She decided one day that with her powers of superior intellect and a hell of a good show she could pretty much get whatever it was that she wanted. Envisioning what she wanted she first came up with a dude old enough to be her Grand Da but hey she wanted a house and with her powers of magical thinking and some really good anal, poof a house magically appeared. She hadn’t quite figured out how to disappear Grand Da once the house appeared but hey she thought, maybe magical thinking and a really good show only works in forward.

With that firmly in mind she went forward. From one magical low paying job to another. Sometimes two at a time. How magical. Then she discovered pre-paid legal and she decided that with her Einstein like mind and her magical powers she should be rich in no time. Well, one cannot be rich if they don’t look the part, so she took her magical mortgage payment money and once again using her powers turned it into a pair of fake tits. My gosh Stabby girl she thought to herself, this magical thinking shit really works. I can have whatever I want. I just have to believe I can have it and it will be mine.

Stabby Einstein was invited to the ball at pre-paid legal but her evil Grand Da/ fuck buddy didn’t want her to go. Stabby was sad. She decided to go anyway. There she met her prince charming Travis. She was transfixed. I must have him she said with a wicked cackle and started magically thinking it so that it would happen. She turned her magical wonder holes into a relationship with Travis. Holy shit it worked again, and this time she had the extra added bonus of figuring out how to get rid of stuff she no longer wanted. Once Grand Da Brewer discovered that the magical holes he thought were his were being plugged up by someone else, he peaced the fuck out and good thing too because he might be buried with Jimmy Hoffa otherwise.

Stabby now having figured out most of the kinks (ha, I said kinks and it stays) in her magical thinking proceeded to lure Travis with promises of even more perverse sexual acts than previously promised. Bondage? Sure. Anal? Oh yes please. Insertions of various forms of candy in various holes? Absolutely. Blindfolds? Check. Farm animals? Not off the table. Because she knew even with her superior intellect she was never going to have Travis unless she magically put a spell on him via her magical fake tits and all of her orifices she decided it was pretty much anything goes.

Stabby’s magical thinking worked for a while. She was getting boned by a really hot dude on a regular basis and of course she was willing him to marry her. The problem was the magic wasn’t working this time. Stabby Einstein thought and thought. Ah ha she said one night (she was prone to having entire conversations with herself so this was actually not a big deal) it’s the religion thing. He actually seriously believes in his Mormon god, therefor I must magically become a Mormon and than surely he will marry me. She was very excited to tell Travis that she wanted to become a Mormon and she silently thought that magical underclothes could not hurt along with all the rest of her magic. She became Mormon and was magically transformed. Surely now her prince would marry her. It was however not to be. Travis had seen through the facade of Stabby Einstein and he wanted nothing to do with her. He realized he had only ever been interested in her because she had absolutely no qualms about doing ANYTHING in the bedroom and she was dumb enough to not realize that sex does not equal love. Price Travis wanted someone he could love and respect and Stabby Einstein was not that woman. He broke it off and Stabby was stunned. And mad. Don’t forget mad, it’s important later.

Travis felt so much lighter when he broke it off with her, but his dick had a mind of it’s own and it missed being stuffed into something on a regular basis. Sadly one night Travis decided that friends with benefits might not be a bad idea. It was. He realized it quickly and told Stabby Einstein that she had to go.

Stabby moved back to Yreka but she never ever ever stopped thinking about Prince Travis and the fact that even with her strongest magic she could not make this one thing so. It slowly began to eat at any semblance of sanity that was at this point resideing in her earthly body. Stabby started thinking that she had been done wrong by prince Travis and she slowly put her magical thinking into action one last time and hit upon a foolproof plan to get even with Prince Travis.

First, she magically made her Grand Da’s (her real one, not the one she was boning earlier in the story) .25 caliber handgun disappear. Next, Stabby Einstein planned a trip to see some dude. She then went to a rental car company and rented a car. She had it magically changed from red to white. She went to the Grand da she’d previously been boning and traded him a DVD player for a couple of gas cans. She was pleased with the way things were working out so far. Still, she needed a magical disguise. She turned her platinum hair magically brown and was on her way. She filled up the gas cans in California and just to be sure she had enough she stopped at Walmart and bought another can. She was now ready to enact her magical plan of revenge.

She drove to Travis’ house. Her cell phone magically stopped working so nobody could tell where she was until it magically turned back on later. She went to see Prince Travis one last time. Poor Prince Travis never saw what was coming. She was offering up free cooch and he was just a mortal man after all. They banged a couple of times and then she tricked him into the shower with talk of a photo shoot. As Prince Travis was in the shower two Ninja’s magically appeared and holy shit one of them had made Grand da Einsteins gun re-appear. The other Ninja had made a knife materialize. Who the fuck even knew that ninjas could do David Copperfield shit. Not this story teller.

Anyway, Stabby Einstein wasn’t mad at poor Prince Travis anymore, she did everything she could to save him but then the Ninjas got her. With a mighty burst of magical strength she bull dogged the female ninja and crawled over to Travis. Travis was only concerned for his true love Stabby Einstein and he told her to get out and get help because he couldn’t move and he wanted her to live. She was trying to escape when the Ninjas caught her. They argued about whether to kill Stabby or not and they decided to do it. Stabby started thinking magical thoughts like she had never thought before and her magic worked one last time and the gun refused to fire, so instead of using the knife or some other weapon, the ninja’s decided to let her go.

Stabby drove and drove and drove until she was in the desert. She had no recollection of how she got there or what had happened. She looked down and saw some blood on her hands and immediately wondered who she had murdered. She had no memory of Prince Travis, or the Ninja’s or anything. So badly was her memory damaged she called Prince Travis to see if he wanted to come visit her later in the year. She decided she might as well just carry on to her next hook up so she did. They got all touchy feely, they went out for dinner and then Stabby Einstein went back home to Yreka where she returned the rental car which had some weird Kool-Aid stain in it, but she magically thought again and the dude at the rent a car place cleaned it for her. What a nice man, maybe she’d thank you fuck him later.

After that she was magically arrested. The police who had absolutely no idea how magical thinking worked, refused to believe her about the Ninja’s and she rotted in jail till the day her trial started.


The Phone call that Rocked the World (not really but I couldn’t think of another title)

September 6, 2014

Crazy just asked for itself to be redefined-Arizona

Well kiddies, looks like Stabby Einstein really is the gift that keeps on giving. After serious and intense contract negotiations with my in house Psychic she is back (thank you jesus) and we all get to find out what stabby really meant during that totally not orchestrated or released on purpose phone recording.

First, a few interesting points. Three way calls are the big no no in Jail. BIG no no. And not the big no no that resides south of Stabby’s belt line. Also, Satan Skyped me earlier and he now wants a per diem every time his input is needed for something related to this trial. I think he’s trying to save up so he can peace the fuck out if Stabby actually gets the death penalty because apparently even the prince of darkness doesn’t want anything to do with that kind of crazy. He said something about Judas Iscariot and PolPot running the show in his absence so no worries, hell will still be looked after. Oh and apparently Caligula will be performing once a week. There are still seats up front just in case you are interested.

Anyway, here is a copy of what the phone call said, and then we are going to have our lovely, talented and totally appreciated in house psychic tell us what the conversation was really about. Did I thank Jesus yet for my in house psychic. God forbid I have to do these things myself. Also, I had to go to the first circle of hell which is the “stabby Arias is innocent” Bwhahahahaha, sorry I can never type that without laughing, website to get this, so….you’re welcome.

Jodi Lisa
Lisa Yes – hey Jodi
Jodi I thought you were at work. Hey, um—
Lisa Well, I’m at lunch right now
Jodi Oh, okay. Who was it that told me? Oh, Maria [Del La Rosa], she said that, um, someone had told her that you had said online last night that I was supportive of the site and I don’t want to give people that impression because I can’t support the site right now as long as you guys are collecting money. Because it should be—
Lisa No we didn’t—
Jodi Huh?
Lisa No, we didn’t say you supported it. We said that you weren’t – not – you didn’t tell us to take it down which is what everyone else is saying.
Jodi Oh. Well, I don’t mind the site being there. But what I do mind is like that Jason is collecting money and that this corporation thing and that he’s promoting it as if something that I want – because I really don’t. I want the collection of money to stay within my family. And I think that if he really did support me he would just use all that traffic and energy and momentum that he’s building and just direct it toward the Appellate Fund, which is where it should be going to begin with. And remember when you and I were like first getting together with these ideas, it was more about how we can promote the Appellate Fund. But it seems like now it’s gone in a different direction. But, I just, that’s the only —
Lisa So if we collect money, are you saying that you don’t want it?
Jodi Yaah. No-no-no — I’m not saying that. I’m saying that I don’t want other people outside of my family to be accepting money on my behalf. Because it takes away from the fundraising that my family is trying to do for me,for one, and for two, with the Corporation, we don’t really know where that money is ultimately going to go, because it can go wherever the board members want it to go. And, as I told Jason, for example, if you guys vote to have an ice cream party with it, then you can. And he said that’s right. But with the Appellate Fund, it’s in the trust fund and irrevocable trust so you can’t have it go anywhere else. [unintelligible] trust it
Lisa Well, well — we’re not going to do that though.
Jodi Well, I know. But the point is that if you wanted to you could. If you want to reward your hard work with like a trip to Vegas you know, or something. If you [unintelligible] wanna or something—
Lisa No. I mean, but we’re not gonna do that though. And that’s why we have a board because, so, for that oversight.
Jodi Well, I know that’s true but I was just thinking if someone were on that for example and they everyone wants to vote to like going to cruise, for example. And then one persons like, “Hey that’s not right. This money is for Jodi’s appeals. And that’s not right.” And then people are mad and then people just have to vote that person off the board and then they can do what they want with money. That’s how it works. I’m not saying that’s going to happen but the problem that when people donate to a cause they believe in then, they wanna know where the moneys gonna go. But at this point they don’t know where it’s gonna go unless they donate to the trust. It can only go to there — to [unintelligle]
Lisa No but we have to [unintelligible] we, but we have to report our financials and where it’s going. So—
Jodi Yah.
Lisa Then I must be—
Jodi I haven’t [unintelligible] your bylaws but they’re, you know. I dunno — I just, I don’t feel, I don’t feel right with it. I don’t feel comfortable with it. I know you guys have worked really hard on it and I’m sorry it’s gotten this far, but—
Lisa So you don’t even want to look at the bylaws or — ?
Jodi Well, I don’t — really haven’t seen the bylaws. I, I honestly, I don’t want to be involved with it. Because I just feel it takes away from the efforts that my other friends and family have been trying to get the fund going to try to get me an attorney. Um, you know, I just—I feel like it’s taken away from that and that’s the problem. The other thing I’m uncomfortable with is that Jason has just done this without my consent. [unintelligible] “Hey you guys, Jodi’s not quite comfortable with this yet, but we’re trying to explain [unintelligible] to understand what’s going on and we’re doing [unintelligible]. [unintelligible] on there an lies. “Jodi supports us 100%.” And I haven’t. I’ve never said that. So the fact that he just lies about that makes me not trust him, you know? It’s like if you’re going to lie about that what else are you doing, you know? And then he registered the site in my name and I never said to register my name. And he puts Perryville’s physical address on there? That, that’s just, that
could get me into some, I dunno, that could potentially cause problems for me. So I know he took that off, but still, you know, it’s just, I think it’s just the fact that—I really wanted to support Jason. He has a lot of talent and everything, but I can’t. He [unintelligible] slams Pandora, he slams Maria, he slams SJ, he slams Ben, he slams Maria De La Rosa. I’m like, what?
Lisa No, but they all slammed us first though!
Jodi I know, but, I never said [unintelligible]—
Lisa They called us thieves and liars and stealing before [unintelligible]
Jodi [unintelligible] Well I dunno so much about what happened between him and Pandora and Maria and everything but he, he straight up just said a whole bunch of like, he dragged out records on people and humiliated them and I just, I dunno, it’s just. And then my art, like he—he doesn’t care about me. He slammed my art because he doesn’t like SJ. Like he still, like he so blinded by his dislike for SJ that he will throw my art under the bus just to get to SJ. He doesn’t care if it affects me. And he doesn’t care if affects my family and you know, their ability to travel to my trial. So, I dunno know, it’s just. I don’t — Everything says don’t trust Jason. Like, why was he so intent about having control over the money when my aunt started to — he, he coerced my aunt into giving her the password to the Paypal, giving him the password to my Paypal, which is weird, like, no one else needed that just to put it on the web site. You just need the code. But he wanted to be, he wanted more than that. Like every time he’s asking for more and more and more. And now he’s—
Lisa No. Well, that’s what I’m talkin’ about. I’m— Yer just getting all the wrong information. He wanted the password because he [unintelligible] to put, like a banner in there so it would look professional and—
Jodi I know, well—
Lisa I mean, everybody’s just twistin’ everything up.
Jodi Well, the problem though is that I told him, I told him this directly on the phone, the problem with you having that email is that now you get the email notifications and you’re not supposed to be getting them. And
[unintelligible]
Lisa Why though.
Jodi [unintelligible]
Lisa I know, but we fixed all that. We complied with everything you guys wanted. And then you still took it away.
So, I mean, we got everything straight before you took the domain away. — — — Are you still there?

Take it away if you please, oh beloved and much revered in house psychic.
Really, this is the first thing you make me do. You know I hate you right? Sigh. Fine, pass the Gravol and the Tylenol and lets get this shit show started.

Lisa, you fucking peon why do I even have to have this conversations with you right now? If you were working like you should be, I would not have to be doing this and could be thinking about new ways to stall the trial…..like leaking a three way phone conversation. Carry on. God you are stupid.

Anyway, I can’t let anybody think that I totally support a site that I totally support because it’s all about me,me,me because you guys are collecting money that might somehow end up in the Alexander’s hands due to that whole wrongful death thing. Assholes. I can’t believe you can even sue for that. That is why my Mormon god created irrevocable trusts. All money collections need to stay within my family because the tighter that particular box stays closed the less likely people are to figure out that the state has to pay for my appeals and shit. Appellate fund. I cannot believe they even went for that. Plus, I know you guys are making money off of me and I just will NOT have that. That money is mine. I murdered for it fair and square and I get to keep it. Fuck Son of Sam and fuck Juan Martinez. It’s mine.

For when I ultimately get released which is totally going to happen. I know they think this is just a penalty phase retrial, but I plan on retrying my entire case. I don’t care what Nurmi says, I can if I want too. Wait shit missed what this stupid bitch just said. Something about a banner? WTF? Anyway, you douches think you are going to make money off of my hard work and throw my art under a bus because it’s tracings of real art and you get my email notifications which is really a bad idea because of all the naked pics I have floating around out there. I don’t want you idiots to figure out who I really am. Like that would ever happen. I could cut off someone’s head in front of 20 of you and nobody would believe I did it, I am just that good. If it wasn’t for that goddamn Juan Martinez and his “evidence” I’d be out of here already. Jenny is still my friend, she’ll help me totally kick Juan’s ass this time. I hate that little bastard. How dare these people try and steal my murder money. Do they think I’m stupid. I’m Stabby Einstein bitch.

Whatever, I don’t need to talk to this moron anymore, like she understands anything that comes forth from my brilliant mind anyway. Bitch. Probably ugly too. I’m just gonna hang up and go admire myself in my stainless steel toilet or something. I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and……..I’m out. I still don’t think you pay me enough for this shit, but we both know I’ll be back. This is the in house Psychic going to try and drill a small hole in my head and bleach my brain. Back to you oh task master.

So there you have it kids. This is what Stabby was actually thinking while she was talking.


The Stabby Arias Book Club Selections

September 3, 2014

Pretty bored waiting for the new farce of a PENALTY PHASE RETRIAL- Arizona

Hi kiddies, it’s your favorite neighborhood Stabby hater, here for another installation of things I can write about while I wait until hell freezes over for the PENALTY PHASE RETRIAL to begin.
I got to thinking about our altruistic little Stabbykins and how she wants to help all those poor illiterate single language speaking singlehandedly ruining the planet with all of their un-recycled trash inmates. What a noble creature Stabby is. The whole book club thing is a stroke of genius. Not as genius as my idea for the Jeffrey Dahmer School of Culinary arts, but it’s right up there.

I think about things all the time. Deep, deep things. You know, like Einstein. I have come up with a selection of Books for the Stabby Arias Hail Mary If This Doesn’t Work I’m Screwed Book Club. Wholesome reads for all of the exemplary human beings that are totally being framed right now as we speak and they didn’t do it.

1. American Psycho. Believe it or not, this is NOT about Stabby. I myself was shocked.
2. How to infringe copyright for fun and profit
3. Setting up an irrevocable trust under questionable circumstances.
4. Screw Son of Sam.
5. Snow White and the seven abusive little pricks who all mysteriously died in their sleep.
6. The court pencil and Nurmi’s Chair have a very bad day.
7. How to successfully pretend to be a superior court judge
8. Pitbulls for dummies
9. Hair dye – It can make a difference
10.How to use twitter to your advantage
11.HLN can suck it
12.How I became a Ninja-not based on true events
13.Migraines-not just for work sick days anymore
14.How to successfully harass anyone.

I am sure there are many that I have yet to come up with, but that should give the Stabby Arias Hail Mary If This Doesn’t Work I’m Screwed Book club some reading material to start off with.

Stabby, feel free to contact me anytime for more suggestions cuz I know that your good buddy Donovan is an avid reader. Hi Donavan. When exactly am I getting sued by the way? Any firm date yet or is it still just take it down or blah blah blah.


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